Welcome to my Self-Esteem wisdom for Personal Power Newsletter.
So folks, here is some wisdom from Brian Tracy on the Keys to Personal Power, enjoy!!
Did you know that self-esteem is the foundation of a positive self-concept?
High self-esteem and self-acceptance are critical elements in successful living and in sales. Think about it. Is your value of yourself hindering your success in life?
The Reactor Core of Your Personality
Your self-esteem is the most important part of your character. This is the emotional part of your self-concept. It is the “reactor core” of your inner power. It is the emotional component of your life. It is the most important single element determining your attitude and your personality. It is the key to your success in life.
The Definition of Self-Esteem
Your self-esteem is best defined as how much you like and love yourself. The more you like yourself, accept yourself and respect yourself as a valuable and worthwhile person, the higher your self-esteem is. The more that you feel that you are an excellent human being, the more positive and happy you are.
The Source of Self-Motivation
Your self-esteem determines your level of energy, enthusiasm, and self-motivation. Your level of self-esteem is the control valve on your performance and effectiveness. Your self-esteem is like the fuel in the first and second stages of a rocket blasting off from Cape Canaveral. People with high self-esteem do well at everything they attempt.
Who Do You Want to Be?
Your self-ideal can be defined as the person you want most to be, sometime in the future. Your self-ideal determines the direction of your life, of your growth and evolution as a person. Your self-image, on the other hand, determines the way you perform in the present. Your self-image is the way you are now, today, this moment. Your self-esteem is largely determined by the relationship between your self-image, how you are performing in your day-to-day activities, and your self-ideal, the way you would perform if you were the very best person you could be.
Strive For Congruency and Alignment
The more that your day-to-day activities are consistent with the person you want to become, the higher is your self-esteem. If your ideal is to be well-organized, calm, positive and working progressively toward the achievement of your goals, and in reality, you are behaving in a well-organized, calm, positive manner, working step-by-step toward your objectives, you will have a high, healthy level of self-esteem. You will like and respect yourself. You will feel calm and confident. You will feel happy, healthy and optimistic. You will be a high-performance personality.
Develop the Keys to Sales Success
Self-esteem is the foundation of a positive self-concept. High self-esteem and self-acceptance are the critical elements in sales success. The more you like and respect yourself, the better you perform at everything you do. Developing and maintaining high levels of self-esteem is the most important thing you can do, every day, in building yourself to the point where you are capable of achieving all your goals.
Self-Esteem Action Exercises for Personal Power
Here are two things you can do immediately to put these ideas into action.
First, repeat to yourself the words, “I love myself! I love myself!” again and again throughout the day. These powerful words make you feel happier and perform better.
Second, think continually about your successes, your high points, and your “wins.” The more you think about your best moments and experiences, the more you like and respect yourself and the better you do.
My “Positive Self Image, Self Esteem, and Confidence” subliminal audio is a very useful tool to use in becoming the person you would most like to be.
Release your mind power to see your self-image and self-esteem soar, so you can become all you want to be. Be enthusiastic, motivated, and feel fantastic. Great for overcoming depression. “I deserve the best. I am calm and secure. I am happy. I respect myself. I feel good about myself.”
Have an awesome August and start achieving those important goals!
Self-hypnosis for healing or auto-hypnosis is a form, a process, or the result of a self-induced hypnotic state. Frequently, self-hypnosis is used as a vehicle to enhance the efficacy of self-suggestion; and, in such cases, the subject “plays the dual role of suggester and suggested”. Wikipedia
What is hypnotherapy?
Hypnosis is a mental state of increased awareness, suggestibility, and concentration. It can be used as a therapeutic tool for a number of conditions.
It is a highly safe technique that can bring increased self-esteem, confidence, assertiveness, relaxation, the list goes on. Self-hypnosis can be used during difficult times to help improve symptoms of many medical conditions for example, anxiety, pain, headaches and so on.
There are three types of hypnosis traditional hypnosis, Ericksonian hypnosis, and self-hypnosis. Each type of hypnosis varies from one another in terms of practice and use.
There are many ways to induce a hypnotic state, including:
Eye Fixation / Fixed-Gaze Induction – Think “Look into my eyes…” or “Follow this watch in front of you…”
Disrupting balance and equilibrium.
And more. Source:https://www.movingmindshypnotherapy.com.au ›
There are Four main stages of hypnotherapy
Induction. Hypnotherapists employ several techniques to induce hypnosis in a person.
Four-step induction. The hypnotherapist induces hypnosis by taking the individual through four steps and asking them to.
Eye-fixation technique. …
Arm-drop technique. …
Progressive relaxation technique. …
Imagery. Source: https://www.medicinenet.com
During a hypnotherapy session, people are guided through a process to induce a trance-like state that helps them focus their minds, respond more readily to suggestions, and become deeply relaxed. Hypnotherapy utilizes the heightened awareness of the hypnotic state to help you focus on a problem more deeply.09 Jul 2021
What is self-hypnosis and how does it work?
See yourself through new lenses
Self-hypnosis involves becoming highly focused and absorbed in the experience while giving yourself positive suggestions about ways to reach your goals. Self-hypnosis is an individual practice, unlike when you are working with a therapist.30 Jun 2020
Get comfortable. Aim to wear clothing that helps you feel relaxed and at ease. Stiff, scratchy, tight, or heavy clothing might not promote relaxation.
Find the right spot. Settle yourself in a quiet room, where you won’t have to worry about anyone disturbing you. Silence your phone and sit anywhere comfortably, in a position that supports your back and won’t leave you feeling cramped.
Set your goal. What do you want to get out of self-hypnosis? Go into the exercise with a clear goal, whether that’s improving self-esteem, getting better sleep, or breaking a habit.
Focus your gaze. Find something simple within your line of sight to focus on, or create a point of focus by pushing a colored thumbtack into the wall or lighting a candle and focusing on the flame.
Begin breathing slowly and deeply. Inhale through your nose and exhale slowly through your mouth, letting your eyes rest on your focus point. Continue breathing, imagining that with each exhale, your eyelids are becoming heavier. Keep going until they feel too heavy to keep open.
Continue to relax. With closed eyes, keep breathing slowly, concentrating on your breath to keep your thoughts from wandering. When your awareness drifts off course, return it to your breath. If any part of your body feels particularly tense, imagine each exhale carrying the tension away.
Visualize. Using your senses, create a peaceful mental “happy place.” You might surround yourself with clouds of relaxing colors or imagine yourself walking along the beach, sitting in a field of flowers, or biting into a juicy, delicious slice of melon.
Spend some time in your scene. As your visualization begins to soothe you, imagine your body becoming very heavy, just as it does when you’re about to fall asleep. If it helps, you can even imagine yourself sinking slightly into the chair or sofa.
Affirm your relaxed state. Try repeating a mantra, like “I am calm,” or “I am at peace.”
Move on to your goal. Once you feel completely calm, use visualization to focus on your goal. Don’t skimp on the detail — make your scene as vivid as possible. Trying to sleep better? Feel yourself tucked into bed with your soft sheets. Hear the hum of the fan as you breathe peacefully in the cool darkness and drift toward sleep.
Affirm your goal. As you imagine yourself achieving your goal, mentally repeat it, such as “I’m speaking confidently, without feeling nervous,” “I’m sleeping peacefully through the night,” or “I don’t want to smoke. I don’t crave a cigarette.” As you repeat these words, direct compassion and encouragement toward yourself.
Let your body return to normal. After 5 minutes or so, prepare to leave the hypnotic state. Imagine each inhale drawing energy from the world around you, and each exhale sending it flowing through your veins. Each breath leaves your limbs feeling lighter until they return to normal.
Wake yourself. Begin counting down from 10, telling yourself, “When I reach one, I will open my eyes, energized and alert.”
More offers, more products, often adding & updating this page- Stay Tuned!!!!
Below is exactly the program that SHOULD have been available for me when I first started out;
The home of the best hypnosis training on the internet. Healing with Hypnotherapy /Jay Cataldo, IACT Certified Master TrainerJay Cataldo, IACT Certified Master Trainer CEO & Founder of LearnHypnosisFast.com
Stay blessed, Stay put, in love, for love, with love & Sparkles for your amazingness!!
Disclaimer: BodyMindSpirit.com is not intended to be a substitute for professional advice, diagnosis, medical treatment, or therapy. Always seek the advice of your physician or qualified mental health provider with any questions you may have regarding any mental health symptom or medical condition. Never disregard professional psychological or medical advice nor delay in seeking professional advice or treatment because of something you have read.
Subliminal Sounds have a great potential to work because the words create emotions and emotions create action. Subliminal music is word patterns designed to bring about change in one’s behavior and life pattern.
Subliminal Music contains positive statements or affirmations concealed in beautiful music. Although you won’t consciously hear any spoken words, the messages are perceived by your subconscious mind where they work to cancel negative, self-limiting beliefs and replace them with new positive thoughts. Once you free yourself of the self-defeating beliefs that have held you back, you’ll see your life-changing for the better.
How do you use Subliminal Music?
Simply play it as you go about your daily activities – while working, driving, reading, watching TV, exercising, relaxing, or even sleeping. Listening to it takes no time out of your daily routine, and no concentration or active effort is required for it to be effective. I find it best with headphones.
How quickly can you expect results?
For best results, play it at least once a day. The more often, the faster and greater the effect. Some people start seeing results within the first few days, while for others it may take several weeks to see changes. Be assured that if used faithfully on a regular daily basis, results will come.
What is Subliminal stimulation example and types?
Subliminal stimulation is sensory stimulation that is below a person’s threshold for perception. It can’t be seen by the naked eye or consciously heard. An example would be visual stimuli that are flashed so quickly on a screen that a person can’t process them so therefore they are unaware they have seen anything.
There are two types of auditory subliminal messages: subaudible and backmasking. Subaudible messages are low-volume messages inserted into louder audio files so that they cannot be heard. Backmasking is a video message recorded backward so that the original message is disguised when playing it forward.04 Nov 2016
When you mend something, you fix it or make it better. … But as the song goes, “How can you mend a broken heart?” … synonyms: darn, patch. vocabulary.com
Darning is basically small-scale weaving. It isn’t difficult but like anything else, it takes practice but is incredibly satisfying – Celia Pym
Like with the body, mind, and heart mending internal holes engraved by diversified vicissitudes of life isn’t difficult, it takes practice but is incredibly satisfying, healing, and rewarding. Restores Hope.
My anguish and shared disbelief at what we are doing to one another on this planet are way beyond words.
“May all those in pain and distress
be blessed with some love in their hearts.
May all those not… be blessed to share your light, with those in need”
Why is peace for all impossible, yet fighting is all we do? Why is it that fighting turned mandatory yet peace is never an option? Should it not be the reverse?
The system turned into twisted laws,
justice serves perpetrators and
victims are just collateral damage.
For example, There isn’t and never will be a consensus that’s ok to send a breadwinner, the sole provider of an already struggling to survive family as is, to war to die just like a statistic or another number in political gangsterism. Barbaric yes, but real too, it’s happening as we speak. How about families and children being killed, just up the road? the brother, sister, mother, father, broken to pieces, in agony ripped apart, scarred for life. To say that holding the shield against the diabolical actions of our brothers and sisters has become unbearably ‘hard’ ‘is an understatement, to say the least, in fact, it’s bursting through the already broken stitches.
These ripped apart, traumatized broken hearts need to be mended, darned regardless of how relevant each personal story goes, as relevant as each is in its own right, still…no matter what, we may want to do some mending of our own- at a personal level, and it has become urgent.
—- ♥ —-
What is shadow work?
It is more an explanation than a definition, it is work that anyone can do on their own. Shadow work is done on the unconscious mind to uncover the parts of ourselves that we repress and hide from ourselves. This can include trauma or parts of our personality that we subconsciously consider undesirable.
Life never stops moving. Every stage of our lives pushes us to adapt and grow. Very often we stagnate because we can’t really go back to our old selves. We perhaps retain some aspects of the old self but have to acknowledge that we’re not the same person anymore.
—- ♥ —-
The traumatic experiences we go through shift us from who we used to be to who we become when not, we experience stagnation that stalls spiritual growth, and mental and emotional wellbeing. When we hang on to the pain, avoid grief, and suppress the hurtful emotions we lose focus. We live in denial, which manifests all possible negative, toxic forms of dis-ease such as serious mental illnesses, serious anger, deep sadness, lack of motivation, and chronic illnesses in the physical body to only mention a few, which inevitably affect all aspects of an individual’s life that lives in all sorts of FEAR!
the long winding road crossing forests and villages.
And in front of her,
she sees an ocean so vast,
that to enter
there seems nothing more than to disappear forever.
But there is no other way.
The river can not go back.
Nobody can go back.
To go back is impossible in existence.
The river needs to take the risk
of entering the ocean
because only then will fear disappear,
because that’s where the river will know
it’s not about disappearing into the ocean,
but of becoming the ocean.
~ Khalil Gibran♡
Let’s be honest, the wounded outnumber the not wounded at all, by far. Healing is a blessing we have, to create hope for humanity. Perhaps who knows even salvation, if we heal one at a time.
When we heal ourselves, we heal not only a little bit of the universe but those around us, and those around them too. The legacy to end the vicious generational cycle is a value and a purpose worth embracing.
Shadow Work for a Peaceful HEART and Peace of mind
8 Benefits of Shadow Work & 10 Prompts to Help You Start Your Practice By Krista – Last Updated: April 1, 2022
Why Is It Called Shadow Work?
Your shadow self is the dark side you don’t show to other people. Shadow work is learning to forgive and work through your shadow self.
If you’re familiar with the work of Swiss psychologist Carl Jung, you may have heard this term before. He suggests that we all have the archetypes of the shadow self, the self, the Anima/Animus, and the persona. He actually considered these universal symbols that we all have, no matter where you come from or who you are.
In many ways, the shadow self is often compared to Freud’s Id. Freud suggested that we’re comprised of the Ego, the Superego, and the Id. The Id is the part of us that holds our primitive desires and repressed memories, again, similar to the shadow self.
… the process will bring up many emotions. It can be difficult for many people. Seek the help of a licensed therapist to assist you with this journey if you feel it would be helpful for you.
The goal of shadow work journaling is to learn about and forgive yourself for the parts of yourself you find unsavory. This can help you achieve a happier, healthier, and more accepting mindset. When the shadow remains untouched, we operate by its rules. Freeing ourselves from its hold can open up a whole new world to us.
What are the 8 Benefits of Shadow Work?
Before we offer a few prompts to help guide your practice, let’s take a closer and brief look at the benefits of shadow work. How can it help you and your life?
1. It can help you feel more whole.
You’ll likely feel free, and once you acknowledge the shadow part of you, you can stop thinking of yourself in parts.
2. It can help you gain more confidence and improve your self-esteem.
Addressing your trauma and the parts of yourself you don’t like can help you become more confident. You will feel unstoppable when you show up as yourself authentically. Once you heal the parts of yourself you don’t like, your self-esteem will improve, and you’ll be able to offer so much more of yourself to the world.
3. It can help you have better relationships with others.
When your self-awareness improves, you can begin to trust yourself again. When you begin to love yourself, you can remove projections and have more patience with people in your life. In turn, you’ll form stronger bonds with others.
4. You may be able to heal your generational trauma.
Shadow work starts with your childhood trauma. Many of us who have suffered severe trauma as children have done so as part of a cycle. Your parents may have similar traumas and have gotten caught in the cycle.
As you heal, you’re healing the trauma for the generations before you so you can do better for the generations to come.
5. It can help strengthen your intuition.
When you repress many issues, working through them can help strengthen your intuition to know yourself deeper.
6. It can help you be more creative.
When you are operating under the control of your shadow, it doesn’t just impact the parts of you that you feel are negative. It can stop you from being wonderfully creative and expressing yourself in ways that can offer value to others.
7. It can improve your self-actualization.
If you’re on a self-growth journey in general, you can become the best version of yourself once you work through these parts of yourself.
8. It can improve your overall wellness.
We know mental health is an essential part of overall wellbeing. When you stop repressing your shadow, you can heal yourself from many things like unhealthy relationships or anxiety. Shadow work journaling can help find the root cause of many issues.
Source: 8 Benefits of Shadow Work & 10 Prompts to Help You Start Your Practice By Krista
It is a lifestyle, not a 3-day challenge
It is my opinion that there is no particular method or formula for healing. Each one of us is its own healer
The choice is personal, above I stress one of many of those tools that can be used for self-healing, and personal transformation, if we are willing to do the work, the sky is the limit to our potential. Your potential runs side-line to your desires. I believe you have nothing to lose but all to gain.
The book Four Agreements is a great start! see what’s all about in this super well-written Free
Let go with Sedona method is not expensive and neither hard to do however, we often categorize “expensive, intensive, or hard to do” as meaning the best and more value for money… that does not apply here, this could not be further from the truth. Sedona practice is free, can be done by pretty much anyone, and has life-changing effects.
“The Sedona Method has been verified to work by Harvard University, Columbia University, and the State University of New York,” Mr. Seretan.
The Sedona Method was developed by Lester Levinson in the USA to save his own life and became available to the public in 1974.
The Sedona Method is a way of letting go of unwanted feelings or emotions on the spot. Our feelings and emotions either hold us back or move us forward.
The basis of the method is that it is as easy to let go of an unwanted feeling or emotion as it is to open your hand and let something fall out of it. John Broome
But what we tend to do with emotions is suppress them or expressthem, neither being the best thing to do. We should be releasing emotions that get in our way.
To let go with Sedona we follow a 4 simple step process:
1. Feel the negative or unwanted emotion or feeling, allow it to show up, as is, and welcome (acknowledge)it.
2. Ask yourself the question “could I let go of this feeling?
” This means is it possible? to let go of that feeling? Bearing in mind that letting go is as easy as opening your hand and dropping something. The answer to the question would be YES, I COULD.
3. Ask the question “would I let go of this feeling?”
“This means am I willing to let go? Sometimes we hold on to our anger etc. By keeping in mind that letting go is as easy as opening your hand and dropping something, the answer to the question is then YES, I WOULD.
4. Then Ask yourself “when do I let go of this feeling?
“This is an invitation to let it go” the answer to the question is NOW!
Feel the emotion or upset actually leaving, see it disappearing like a bubble being burst or a ball traveling out of sight or even releasing like letting go a balloon we see disappear and vanish.
“Let’s go through an example”
Imagine you are driving on the highway and the traffic is very heavy, you are frustrated and someone pushes you off the road. You are livid, furious, and start driving like a lunatic. Feel that anger, let it be here. Ask “could I let go of this feeling?” “Yes, I could.” “Would I let go of this feeling?” “Yes, I would.” “When?” “Now.” Feel and see the emotion disappearing. Release until you start feeling lighter and soon the feeling will go”. John Broome
Don’t be put off by the simplicity of the Method. Therein lies its very effectiveness. It can be used anytime, anywhere, to immediately feel better about whatever is troubling you. And, we all want to feel good. We can use it to enhance a good feeling. If we release on a good feeling, it gets better. Bad feelings are finite, whereas good feelings are infinite. That’s why bad feelings will disappear and good feelings will get better.
Use The Sedona Method to control emotions anytime, anywhere. John Broome
As we go on through life, we collect all sorts that become the so heavy luggage we carry on our shoulders. Guilt, limiting beliefs and so on, dragged for years and years, ‘thinking’ we have forgotten, overcome them… or worse dealt with it. Not only did we not let go… we also allow or enabled it to become part of us. The effects on our mental and emotional capacity to make educated decisions leave therefore a lot to wish for and affect our choices and decisions which only we know how long it goes on.
Source: John Broome
Harvard Researchers Identify Sedona Method As Missing Link to Stress Reduction
Stay blessed, Stay put, in love, for love, with love & Sparkles for your amazingness!!
Disclaimer: BodyMindSpirit.com is not intended to be a substitute for professional advice, diagnosis, medical treatment, or therapy. Always seek the advice of your physician or qualified mental health provider with any questions you may have regarding any mental health symptom or medical condition. Never disregard professional psychological or medical advice nor delay in seeking professional advice or treatment because of something you have read.
Before I go any further about Inner child self-healing I’ve got to say that back when I could not truly phantom the deep meaning of it myself, I simply dismissed it as to why would I want to give it any attention. like “rrrss, nonsense. I sure did, and so do many of us. You might be thinking just as much… Let me explain…
Your Inner child is who you once were before you were influenced by society and all the adversities of life.
It wasn’t until many years later that I revisited the subject. While exposing my own shadows, wasn’t easy it was certainly both undeniable & surprisingly worth it!
The question is are you ready to welcomechange in your life? If so reading this with an open mind and being certain that you’re safe here (there is only you), learning doesn’t take up space on our hard drive after all… Be assured that you have nothing to lose other than, perhaps a max of 10 minutes of your time reading it. However, do know that I am only just scratching the surface of it here.
There are no right or wrong definitions for inner-child in the context I am referring to. The intent and attempt aren’t so much to define it but rather convey a meaning, a feeling an emotional engagement and so I invite you to continue to explore and go a little deeper.
Your Inner child’s Self-healing insight is a must for the transformation that you desire
I propose that you resurrect your inner joy, and begin looking forward to prolonging your inner contentment fearlessly, free-spiritedly, spontaneously reclaiming your power back, nurturing, and understanding the child within you. It is by helping care for the small version of you that you uncover your own kind of beauty, no matter who you are or where you are.
Acknowledging your “Inner child” is bringing back the fun into your life.
The relationship between you and who you once was is the unfold for self-acceptance.
What kind of relationship do you have with yourself?
“You look at her and see the girl,
Who lives inside the golden world,
But don’t believe it, that’s all there is to see,
You’ll never know the real me.
She smiles through a thousand tears and harbors adolescent fears,
She dreams of all that she can never be,
She wades in insecurity, and hides herself inside of me.” By Mariah Carey
Inner child self-healing
From childhood to adulthood, we evolve so much that we forget to remember who we have once been – our essence. We evolve physically, mentally, emotionally, and hopefully spiritually too, but the kid is still inside of you.
We remember the feelings, and so memories are made of how we felt when the events occurred. A child that experiences trauma such as a loss of a loved one, being molested… abused in any way shape or form has these memories stored as feelings. The accuracy of the event itself years later is likely blurred, forgotten, the details are lost in time however how you felt back then, not.
These are translated and experienced throughout life such as betrayal, rejection, abandonment, shame, guilt, depression, anger and it goes on, regardless of how they’ve been repressed or how we at any point or the child dissociated.
Life goes on… kids grow up but those feelings never go away; haunt us every so often in one way or another, direct or indirectly, becoming part of who we are; Regardless of the years that go by those memories of insufficiency, inadequacy, abandonment undeniably influence our choices negatively, from childhood to adolescence and then to adulthood. The negative impact throughout life is undeniable as distorted decisions alter the trajectory that our lives take forever. Understand this, and your life can change for the better!
Can we heal trauma from childhood?
If we can understand ourselves, our sorrows, and pains, instead of resisting and fighting them? Recognizing the internal chaos within and healing it? For sure as it changes completely what we experience externally too, in the world, within, or in relationships. Not only we can! We should!
Who would not like to experience contentment? peace? authenticity? healthy self-esteem? self-love… but for such, we need to change our thought patterns, what, how we think and perceive ourselves. Trust me a good start is by nurturing the child within us.
I know it is possible to heal your inner child blockages because I have and am succeeding at it myself because I wanted to experience life with fewer limiting beliefs, and live as a more pleasurable, fulfilling, and meaningful life. Don’t you?
Inner child self-healing means that we honor the sacredness of our personal experience
To honor the sacredness of every experience we would want to begin “fine-tuning” to the frequency of our heart’s joy, playfulness, naughtiness, the good mischievous fun side of ourselves just as when we were kids careless and unafraid because we then felt safe!
“…going back and healing the little girl in me, so that the woman can be free… going back to the little boy within so that the man can show up and give himself permission to cry when necessary… By Lisa Nichols
What is in need of healing?
If you would like to explore further continue reading…
Allow repressed memories and emotions to resurface ( this is the monster we try to suppress at all costs)
Let the hurting version of you come to its expression, forgive who hurt you, what hurts you and why it hurts you
Count on the little brave hero inside to tell you “How and what hurts you most”
Did you as a child starved for confirmation, reassurance, love, or approval of any sort, or never got any? if so, today you can assure and promise your mini-you, that not only you can but you will take care of things better because now than ever before, and that everything will be ok. That he or she is safe.
If you can break this barrier, you will appreciate the value of digging deeper and nurturing yourself.
Caroline Myss is a five-time New York Times bestselling author and internationally renowned speaker in the fields of human consciousness, spirituality and mysticism, health, energy medicine, and the science of medical intuition. She is fabulous!
Caroline Myss in this video, Choices that can Change your life. The 3 key choices we can make to change our life.
Hope you have watched it and enjoyed it. If not, I insist you give it a shot for only 26 minutes “time well wasted is never wasted time”, you may thank me later.
Practice and apply these concepts, and let them talk to you, lack of anything exists when we’re not aligned with our desires and wish-fulfilling. Healing opens the gates of the abundance you seek.
The focus is on your inner being; the basic and ultimate goal is self-love.
” Your Inner child says I see you, please see me too…”
Below is a guided meditation – for the beginning of your inner child healing – be brave, nothing is impossible.
If you have any feedback about inner child and self-healing in this context that you’ve tried or any questions about the ones I recommend, please leave your comments below!
Stay blessed, Stay put, in love, for love, with love & Sparkles for your amazingness!!
Healing from Deceitful Love, narcissist or not emotional abuse in a relationship of any sort is an individual ‘choice and decision‘. Only we can make that choice for ourselves. Making the choice is actually not the most difficult part, the hardest is to heal without ever understanding why one can inflict such pain onto another for no reason at all.
Here is your song from me to listen to while you read…
Healing from an evil obsessive narcissist was one of the deepest, hardest, and everlasting pains I’ve ever felt. Now I can say the most powerful too.
However hard this is or has been for me, I share my story humbly hoping that it can make a difference and who knows – more than that.
Not understanding why, I had to experience a loss such as my baby, or of my father to suicide was hard you bet, devastating, to say the least however somehow over time, I’ve managed to wrap my head around it.
To experience a marriage with an obsessive, and sadistic narcissist – was heart-wrenching, ripped my soul apart, and to this day has no possible explanation – I cannot say I understand it, I don’t think it is possible to understand it, it is beyond such a thing and I still cannot wrap my head around it nevertheless my heart.
Getting to terms that to let go of anything is often uncomfortable, or agonizing is just ONE of many steps. Replaying painful memories is like taking a leap of faith.
The past is predictable and familiar but the new is a mystery, hence usually very frightening.
While the devil doesn’t change – Healing from a narcissist relationship is possible (Deceitful Love)
I felt trapped, but the biggest of all was to realize that I allowed it to happen to me. This I came to understand. Somehow, I enabled him to do so. I own it.
I could be here endlessly writing down all the reasons (and valid ones I still believe) for having stayed 14, 15 plus years in such a relationship, but I won’t simply because it took me, to take responsibility for my own part in it to begin my healing and transformation.
The bottom line is that there are things, situations, and people that are so worth losing, that it’s not even a joke, cutting completely from your life is not only liberating but a blessing in disguise!
While letting go may sound like a struggle and we all know it is. Harder than the consequences of enabling is to accept the abuse and torture we have lived through: be it verbally, emotionally, and or physically. How can anyone understand those that inflict pain on others for fun and pleasure?
“When I realized that I was in hell’s bottomless pit, the abyss became my Oasis. Letting go opened the horizons towards my blessings over time, but it wasn’t without tribulations”
Do you need Permission for healing from a narcissist or Emotional abuse relationship?
Let go of the old idealizations of you and transform your life so that you can regain your own kind of beauty again!
Fear embeds our being, with the terror that lurks in our shadow and runs in our veins. We have the innate potential for chaos. Is it not what we see all around? The chaos that we cannot sustain without damage of some sort?
Abdicating (in any way) from the individual responsibility each one of us has, is renouncing our own throne and bringing upon Self-inflicted chaos.
I have enough reasons to believe that I’ve lived too many experiences in one lifetime alone. Crushing disappointments were a big part of it, to say the least. Today I can say, I am better, stronger, and fabulous so worthy of Love, thanks to all that. A rough diamond is a diamond, I see you!
When we cut ourselves, we need to stop the bleeding, then let the healing take its course… takes time, right? Just like emotional and mental matters. I have your back, I hear you, I understand you.
We cannot see clearly in the middle of a storm, and neither can we vibrate high with a broken heart. So, let it be to let it go, ‘no storm lasts forever, it is after an emotional storm that we can see the damages with a clear mind. You are not alone.
When there are children like those below in the relationship their soul is equally or worse ripped apart… Yet it is our responsibility to PROTECT THEM. You don’t have to just be strong for yourself, you have to do so for them
Healing from an abusive, and or narcissist relationship is a leap of faith worth more than words can tell
Standing on firm ground is to own up to the role that we’ve played in our past so that we can Let Go of it, and live life looking forward instead of in the rear-view mirror. So that we can truly forgive ourselves for it all and heal.
Let’s face it, how much longer of the same bullshit do you plan to endure further? If it smells like shit, looks like shit, feels like shit it’s because it is shit!
We think about our role in all of it, in the current personal life so that we can Let in the New and move forward.
Healing from a narcissist relationship of any kind is like taking a leap of faith to allow the blossomed version of you to come to the surface
“It is love, of course, that guides the reorganization and its unfolding. But it is love, too, that is the substance of the ashes, and also the tears, the tears of grief and the tears of love. If the tears could speak, they may tell us that there is no medicine in a wound that is already healed, but only in one that is weeping.” Matt Licata PhD
Letting go, and forgiving is a choice that we make when we’re sick and tired of being sick and tired. Acting upon injustice need not wait for the right time.
Deep cuts, nasty scars, heavy burdens, traumas, pain, and hurt need not wait for the right time for healing to begin – it starts with a choice.
Enabling Emotional, Mental, and Physical abuse of any sort, year after year for so many years is heart-wrenching and tragic, to say the least. It was this realization that ‘I enabled it, that led me towards healing, transformation, and freedom.
It is real that there is a time we cannot see any light, hope dies, we subside to the darkness and succumb to the torment, despair and feel that the only way out is to end, literally everything.
Narcissists take you there with a smile, they’re the devil in disguise, and the spotlight will always be theirs, for they are the perpetrators. They’ve mastered getting away with tormenting anyone that is on the periphery of their radar. They are good at it.
Healing from it begins …
… when we make the choice to not let ourselves be just one more victim or part of the statistics. If you are or have been one, join us, there are many like you and me… be the witness that changes the story’s narrative – Let your truth be heard. SAY it out loud: “NO MORE” You know deep inside that you can, and will heal – everything you may face from that point onwards is turbulent, not easy but IT IS WORTH IT, it is empowering.
To everyone out there that has experienced or is experiencing any kind of abuse, my message is to remember that no one deserves to live in shame or guilt – ever! and that? Certainly, includes YOU.
Let Go of the confinement of the mind and imprisonment of the soul
Their drill is that it is all, always our fault, most certainly always, of course, always! We’re never, ever good enough for them, we’re useless and do nothing right but ‘pressing’ the wrong buttons; ‘we deserve’ to be publicly embarrassed, humiliated because we ask for it!?
Truth is our misery is their joy…
Does it sound familiar? … It will only be so, while we enable it.
Their rage, violent and uncontrollable anger go from mild irritation or annoyance to serious outbursts, not so?
Narcissistic people will get you to actually start doubting your own sanity – yourself!?
For example, it is just typical of them to insult you, scold, yell excessively, not only will you always only do everything wrong, “Once again, and again… we’re always misunderstanding everything, misinterpreting what they say, confused heads, so we are never good enough in their eyes, everything they do to us is our fault and we asked for it!
Since we never listen properly or talk nicely they get angry – How hilarious!
Warning!! This voice recording is not for the faint-hearted, seriously do not listen to it if you’re not emotionally very strong, or if you are currently vulnerable!
For those that do, or can, this is so that you understand once and for all that you are not alone!!!! YOU ARE NOT ALONE! It is not your fault! You are great! Fabulous! Deserving!
Most important you are not the mad one. Your life can change, you can be happy, you can be yourself again!
This is as real as it gets. Yes, I finally lost it, in the car, him driving home from the hospital as the night before I’d almost died… I was trying to unlock the door to jump out of the car… I’d reached my last straw – total madness… I am ashamed that I have allowed this in my life and 8 years of betrayal I never knew of till late.
We are just a tool they use to practice on – Ouch! right?
Understanding this can change completely the direction we take at the crossroads.
This is a disorder that they have and you have nothing to do with it.
Their violent form of communication is intended to harm your ‘self-concept’ so that they feel better in theirs
Subconsciously they evoke negative emotions in others so that while others get devoured by the pain they inflict, they feel exhilarated instead!
Understand what makes them feel great, better, and powerful. This is not a joke; it is a pattern of behavior that they use intentionally to control and manipulate us or tactics used for their revenge purposes and satisfaction of a “job well done”.
This is typical of what mental, possessive ill people do, charm you into the paradox. Manipulate, control you, betray then dispose of you.
If you are blessed like me, they ask for the divorce however, know that they’ll make sure you will suffer on their terms – I have for further 10 years…However, what they cannot begin to imagine is that every minute away from him … has been just a pure blessing!
They are Energy Vampires
(Deceitful Love leads to Emotional abuse)
To recover we must claim our power back. Give ourselves the time we need, but don’t wait another minute in agony before we begin to do something about it!
If all we do is just open our eyes to the reality that they are the problem, and know it is not you; that in itself is already doing something towards helping yourself start healing.
Let in the “divine being that you are”. By letting go I mean detach, disengage, and separate yourself from any relationship or beliefs, whatsoever, that are toxic.
This does not happen instantly, it’s a long process, but little at a time we certainly build our strength and reclaim our power. What or how it is done is not relevant. It all starts with the decision and determination to overcome the fear, remembering that you deserve to be treated with respect only just because you’re worthy of love and need not earn it to deserve to have it.
What is relevant is that you start this process now – even if you just start it in your head undoing the awful words, he or she has made you believe so far, and not believe it any further.
Let go because “YOU matter”
Walk away… there is no bigger loss than that you have been through already. Go forward you’re better off without it. You are worthy of love and respect.
When you choose that you’re finally done hurting, it is not when it ends for you, it is when it STARTS rather. You stop surviving and start living again. It is terrifying but when you hit the bottom the only way forward is back up and then you become stronger and able to speak your truth!
Understand that nothing of it is actually your fault, nothing that you did or said makes you deserve to hurt and suffer! You do not ever deserve such treatment, situation, or that kind of life, not only you – it applies to everyone.
Start distancing yourself from the thoughts that plague your heart and are not worth keeping.
Learn to catch yourself thinking negatively, and at that point be aware of it – then tell yourself ‘Oh, no, no it’s not like that. Re-think it… tell yourself what the positive version would look like for you.
Your brain begins to create new patterns and connections that are called neuroplasticity, which is how new experiences reorganize neural pathways in the brain. These functional changes in the brain occur when we learn new things or memorize new information. This is proved scientifically and it is not a story.
The time to lick your wounds and heal starts NOW.
Holding onto deep emotional wounds of any sort slowly but surely drains the life out of you bit by bit. When you hold onto it you enable it to fester, corrupt and rot you from the inside.
You can, and I repeat you can, change your life and live the life of your dreams, but you have to dream first! You really should.
Let go of EVERYTHING that no longer serves you is the best gift you can give yourself.
Don’t fear this, “where there is a will there is a way”. You are not alone. There are many like you suffering silently.
My point though is that if you have to let go of a toxic relationship with anyone, no matter who it is, for your sanity and wellbeing, then that is what you do. You come first and that is not selfishness! It is Self-Love.
Mend your heart – Let go – Let the Healing from a narcissist relationship guide you to the happiness and joy that you deserve
Write a letter, pour your heart out, say everything that has been stuck, silenced your entire life, and burn it, do it as many times as you need, every time you burn it or bury it, or tear it imagine it dissolving in thin air and go out of your heart. This is called visualization, just like we do when we daydream.
It may feel awkward, but it helps you heal immensely like you took a ton off your heart. It is pretty powerful!!
Release the abuse you have been through. Whatever that is for you, all that matters is that you are deserving, you are enough and you are a divine being! JUST LIKE ME!
Stay blessed, Stay put, in love, for love, with love & Sparkles for your amazingness!!
Your thoughts are a Source of Love because love is endless…
Each small step towards awareness, mindfulness and healing in the Love energy arena that links and nurtures the well-being of the Body, Mind & Spirit, its interrelationship and connectedness, is a fascinating topic for me. How Love does it? Let’s figure this one out together along the way. Meanwhile, remember to share with us your view on the topic ¦)
Love is the link, that connects and drives Body Mind Spirit abundantly, and successfully, be it collectively or individually
Love is the source of our divinity
Authenticity is the step ahead of Self-commitment to ‘truth’
IF you feel unheard … I can hear you now
Turn your thoughts into a Love Source is familiarizing yourself with Self-love
When we’re acquainted with self-love, we experience a sense of fulfillment. We do not feel isolated when alone and therefore experience emotional and spiritual abundance, connection, radiate love, and feel loved and appreciated in return.
” Solitude is a guilty pleasure of over-indulging treasured times”
When we’re NOT familiar with self-love
We build on an illusionary foundation. Our emotional infrastructure is shaky, needy, and lonely. We reside in a sandcastle, on a verge of falling apart any time – all the time; we look outside of ourselves for love, hoping to find somebody who can overturn this judgment of ourselves.
“Loneliness is guilt painfully indulging in self-pity”
—– ℘ —–
So now that we have an idea (the shortest version), about when we are and when we are not experiencing Self-love and the difference between Loneliness and Solitude, let’s dive a little deeper.
Before we go any further, I should say that I believe self-love is the only way to free our spirits from the miseries we subject ourselves to.
The practice of loving ourselves even if here and there is seeking to respect the essence of our being by living in harmony; With a healthy body, wise mind, and free spirit.
Abundance is generated when we intentionally Redirect all traffic to its Love Source.
…the brain and peripheral nervous system, the endocrine and immune systems, and indeed, all the organs of our body and all the emotional responses we have, share a common chemical language and are constantly communicating with one another. … our thoughts, feelings, beliefs, and attitudes can positively or negatively affect our biological functioning. In other words, our minds can affect how healthy our bodies are! On the other hand, what we do with our physical body (what we eat, how much we exercise…) can impact our mental state (again positively or negatively). This results in a complex interrelationship between our minds and bodies.” by Dr. James Gordon (founder of the Center for Mind-Body Medicine)
The physical, mental, and emotional interconnection is being learned by us the hard way,
Love is a language that we all talk about or should and that does not mean language as we define it, “as the principal method of human communication, that consists of words used in a structured and conventional way”; I mean rather a language that transcends time and space, non-conventional, that we all know, talk and experience on an ongoing basis. As such, and from the “self” point of view, this is very useful to understand as I came to learn it the hard way myself.
“Wake up to that Love. What is gone cannot return, what’s about to come needs to be recognized”(From the Winner stands alone book by Paulo Coelho)
Often, we individually cut ties, discredit, ridicule, detour, or withdraw altogether from this form of communication and so here’s how we sever self-love. Moreover, however, we deprive ourselves of healing and all sorts of divine things. We asphyxiate ourselves with the mind, ego-based thinking process. Only that, we all know at least a hand full of negative shit – that grows itself when we give wings to our imagination.
The law of perpetual transmutation of energy asserts that energy can neither be created nor destroyed. Still, it changes from one state to another. This means that the energy in the universe is always transmuting into and out of form.
Exploring our energy centers (called Chakras as I may have brought to light before) may well broaden anyone’s horizon about the relationship and dynamic of body-mind-spirit on an energetic level. More on this in future posts. If you haven’t already researched the topic, it is something I would encourage everyone to do.
” We are just as brave in either direction we choose to go”, the difference is in the experience that we create for ourselves, and others in the process”
*Resonance as per Wikipedia is the phenomenon of increased amplitude that occurs when the frequency of a periodically applied force is equal or close to the natural frequency of the system on which it acts...
When we radiate love, we create a resonance that attracts more of a kind. We get to interact with our outer world in the same manner – the world in turn as if a mirror, reflects what we project back to us. We get more of the same back because we attract more of alike as it resonates with our vibration.
The Love frequency that our traffic embeds, attracts our tribe.
Chase peace in turbulent times, to get more peace
Face your fears as opposed to justifying them and choose your battles as many aren’t worth fighting for.
Relate to others with love. Using others as scapegoats is a disgrace to humanity.
What you give is what you get – Be generous, humble, and grateful before you ask for it in return.
Not doing to others what you would not like done to you is called self-care and self-respect.
You are your own ambassador; your worth begins from within and does not need anyone else to reassure it.
Acting amongst humans in resemblance of vultures, hyenas, and rats (although these are important) they are important for the eco-system, not necessarily for the human beings’ experience with one another
I encourage anyone to change and replace old outdated views or beliefs that can no longer serve them. Isn’t it true that one can be physically incarcerated but spiritually and emotionally free? Often, we incarcerate ourselves all on our own – but still, blame others.
My burning desire for freedom to seek knowledge without boundaries from limitations, or narrow-minded and ignorant People, truth, authenticity, and love are the paths that lead me to serve others, and well I hope!? However, at least disillusioned by the masks that society wears.
“…allow yourself to become a different person than you are now than you were in the past and will be in the future…”
We are the exact person we believe ourselves to be, the question is, are you going to look at yourself in the rear-view mirror and expect to see a different you today?
The being you wish to be, the life you wish to live, and the potential you wish to have been yours, you have it, only your mind is your limitation. Manifesting is projecting heartedly with pure intent and for the highest good of all anything and everything that we desire onto the universe unapologetically.
Looking for reasons as to why it isn’t working for you is to lose complete focus on what you want. It is quitting at the start when things get hard because others are already doing a good job! IT IS A USELESS lifestyle – just saying…
It is up to each one of us to funnel or redirect all our traffic to its source, all of it. Together we can channel and transmute anything less than great to be changed. The energy in the universe is always transmuting into and out of form. This means that ultimately, we humans have the potential to create a less painful, experience, perhaps less self-destructive. Be yourself a Link to this vision start now, start Within. Only we can stop sabotaging ourselves… to live a life with meaning.
Life is a journey, not a destination, for you, for me, this is… for all of us.
Where there is a will there is a way
Spiritual Bazar – Playlistfor more on the Connection
Heal and Transform from within is like the process of a caterpillar transforming into a butterfly or a seed into a beautiful flower. Either process has its time and so does the process of learning unconditional Love to transform ourselves. Because I love music, here’s a song for you My way
Three valuable steps in the process to Heal & Transform from within
Discover your own limiting beliefs, misconceived ideas, characteristics, and personality traits.
Unravel what you think of yourself, and be assured that you don’t become what others think of you- Thank God lol
Re-think all that you think you should be, should look like or should not be, or not look like, Just be you!
You are divine because you are you, with all your flaws – Rediscover yourself
We create beliefs that may well be very different from who we truly are at our core essence. Being whole includes our flows, failures, faults, and all. You need not apologize for not being perfect. why should anyone? Just Because…? is not a good enough answer. There is no need to regret being who we were either, in fact, we aren’t even everything we think we are anyway.
“The ‘next moment’ only happens when the one before is left behind so that the new can unfold for us”
What we think, envision, sense, and or perceive is carried or released, expressed or compressed, within or amongst ourselves, through an invisible energy field. Pay attention to this…
To Heal, be Authentic
“Authenticity means we’re true to our emotions, own values, and spirit, regardless of the pressure that we’re under to act otherwise”. It means being honest with ‘self’ and also with others as a result. Authentic people take responsibility for their mistakes.
Who we´re and what we become is a by-product of our thoughts, emotions, belief systems, experiences, challenges, actions, etc. Life happens for us, not to us. I can not stress this enough.
By grasping this concept, we understand that we need not lie to ourselves or others, acceptance of taking ownership and responsibility for our actions is crucial to achieving the overall well-being that we seek. While what others say to us or about us maybe or not be relevant at times, the fact is that ultimately we are the choice makers.
We often repeat negative thoughts, and lie to ourselves so many times that eventually we believe the lies we tell ourselves; In fact, if we believe what we think, which we do pretty often, then our thoughts or beliefs are also only just ours not so? Not only do we judge and beat ourselves, but we’re also likely our hardest critics, as a result, we are a product of our own doing.
To Heal Be Mindful
What if, we begin minding and being more thoughtful, and careful with what we tell ourselves? Be mindful of your thoughts, and your Words. We become what we think. Words are the most powerful tool we have, they really can destroy our self-concept and that of others, since we attract more of what we do and say, say only what we mean. We have the choice of control, so what are you thinking and creating in your life right now?
Self-Love, Respect, and Forgiveness are my journeys, best friends. The best version of me depends on it, why do I resist, fight and fear Change then?
What are your fears? What is blocking you from moving forward?
Self-care is a practice, practice it every day, every moment is a revelation and is forever evolving when we don’t resist that is, and so we either stagnate or soar. We know that we evolve when we change our thoughts, actions, and behavior towards ourselves, don’t we? So why resist and stagnate?
Furthermore when there is harmony energy flows effortlessly through our physical, mental, and emotional selves. When in synchronicity, connected communicating we know who we’re meant to be. We’re evolving human beings, not perfect ones.
Becoming one with ‘ body-mind-spirit is fulfilling and crucial for our wellbeing and contentment. The Journey is the opportunity itself. A potential that is meant to serve us. Transformation is lots of small changes that happen as we take action towards fulfilling our desires.
Life is our creation – Transforming ourselves is matching the vibration of unconditional love
Do you underestimate the power that negative emotions and limiting beliefs have on you?
We easily dismiss the power of small steps or small things, think about bacteria and viruses, for example, how small they are. They go undetected yet they have the power to wipe out millions and destroy economies, right?
Can anyone argue that we are not 100% authentic with ourselves? feelings? believes, likes, dislikes, and so on? Yet 99% of us know when we are not truthful to ourselves but choose to ignore it. This hurts us more than we realize and distorts our purpose.
At times we aren’t heard. We feel neglected, undermined, rejected, and judged, often we say Yes when No it is. We can only get what we have the courage to ask for. Are you a People pleaser? and so disserving yourself? I have been there and done it, and it is because it is so, that I can talk about it.
For instance, don’t we go against ourselves to be accepted? to please others? be liked? don’t we go to any lengths to avoid conflict? However, it is often and precisely this very internal conflict that brings about discontentment and impacts us negatively on all levels. How many of us are not guilty of that?
To Heal Take responsibility for your wellbeing
It is up to each individual to free themselves and stop sacrificing their own essence in exchange for acknowledgment, worthiness, acceptance, and so on.
Healing is a decision just like one person can not stop eating for another to lose weight, no one else can transform nor change anything in your life for you. Only you can!
The sole responsibility to live a truthful, mindful, authentic life or not is on you. Blaming others is a sign of a lack of ownership and responsibility for our actions. Others are never truly responsible for absolutely nothing in your life – Only You are!
Grab and steer the wheel of your ship (life). Dedicate your time exploring all possibilities, and be the best you can be at navigating through the obstacles and challenges, but equally important is that whatever you do, you don´t settle for anything less than what you deserve.
‘YOU’ know what is beautiful? Read the first word again…
Body, mind, and spirit co-exist, they are inter-linked ¨they are one” and connected!
Have you noticed how we compartmentalize, body, mind, and spirit? interesting right? as if they were different entities, the body is the vessel, your thoughts influence your emotions and your body… Your physical and emotional hearts speak the language of the soul, they evolve together believe it or not. When out of synchronicity it manifests as dis-ease, we feel conflicted, confused, lost, faithless, fearful, lazy, and sick – pretty much disconnected. Change is not losing anything it is, in fact, gaining everything when we do, it doesn’t just affect us, it affects also those around us as a ripple. “Your vibe attracts your tribe”
“If the only tool you have is a hammer, you tend to see every problem as a nail.” Abraham Maslow’s. Sadness, helplessness, anger, embarrassment, fear, frustration, disappointment, and guilt, are all well known to be the very same nails we hammer or have been hammering throughout our lives into ourselves.
Persevere living outside the bubble of judgment, to see and accept who you are. Aligning with whom we are now and are meant to be is to allow the divine being within express itself.
Leak your wounds and celebrate your divinity. This is time for your expansion, you’re being magnified so get to terms with it and be faithful to yourself, that is not being selfish, that is practicing self-Love
Are you ready for awesomeness?
You do likely know that we depend on good bacteria for good health? Furthermore, not all bacteria are bad. In the realm of thoughts, beliefs, and emotions are the same, drama, trauma, pain balance and harmony can also lead to fulfillment, great accomplishments, healings, miracles, and life changes.
Be Open and Welcome Change
What small changes do you need or can make today? Does your operating system require re-booting? update? restart? or recover? to run at its full potential towards the fulfillment of your desires? I encourage personal growth, that you let loose the God/Goddess within; Moreover let go of your mask, self-expression, creativity, and love be your guide.
Is transformation or change easy?
Who hasn’t experienced emotional pain in one way or another? Sometimes that pain takes forever to overcome too, often affecting entirely who we become. Aren’t we aware that it is never too late to change something, anything that no longer serves us?
There is nothing easy about digging old wounds to heal. Nothing of a kind is easy in this process, far from it.
acknowledging the need to heal
understanding what needs to be dealt with
shifting our perspective or views and forgiving
IT IS WORTH IT, let the past stay where it belongs, It is a personal choice to embrace the self-healing and transformational journey. Don’t allow irrational circumstances to inhibit your objectives – Be the observer.
Caterpillars do all the work so butterflies can show their beauty
♥ I know you can, do YOU know it yourself? ♥
Best Selling Author of “The Emotion Code”, Dr. Bradley Nelson, explains how you can learn a simple technique to overcome your physical and emotional discomfort and release emotional baggage (go here to download the Emotion Code starting kit, free (discoverhealing.com )
” Your pain does not have to define you but it can refine you”
Best Four Agreements book review because it is outstanding, to say the least. This is certainly a long but probably a life Transformational reading, you can always read part of it now and come back to read the rest later, it really is phenomenal.
Author’s Bio: Don Miguel Ruiz was born into a family of healers, and raised in rural Mexico by a curandera (healer) mother and a Nagual (shaman) grandfather. The family anticipated that Miguel would embrace their century-old legacy of healing and teaching, and carry forth the esoteric Toltec knowledge. Instead, distracted by modern life, Miguel instead chose to attend medical school and become a surgeon. A near-death experience changed his life and sunned by his experience, he began an intensive practice of self-inquiry. Don Miguel Ruiz, a nagual from the Eagle Knight lineage, has dedicated his life to sharing the wisdom of the ancient Toltec.
Author’s big thought: In The Four Agreements, don Miguel Ruiz reveals the source of self-limiting beliefs that rob us of joy and create needless suffering. Based on ancient Toltec wisdom, the Four Agreements offer a powerful code of conduct that can rapidly transform our lives into a new experience of freedom, true happiness, and love.
Thousands of years ago, the Toltecs were known throughout southern Mexico as “women and men of knowledge”. They were scientists and artists who formed a society to explore and conserve the spiritual knowledge and practices of the ancient ones.
They came together as masters (naguals) and students at Teotihuacán, the ancient city of pyramids outside Mexico City known as the place where “Man Becomes God.”
Over the millennia, the naguals were forced to conceal the ancestral wisdom and maintain its existence in obscurity.
The esoteric Toltec knowledge was embodied and passed on through generations by different lineages of naguals. Though it remained veiled in secrecy for hundreds of years, ancient prophecies foretold the coming of an age when it would be necessary to return the wisdom to the people.
Don Miguel Ruiz, a nagual from the Eagle Night lineage, has been guided to share with us the powerful teachings of the Toltec
Domestication and the Dream of the Planet
Dreaming is the main function of the mind, and the mind dreams twenty-four hours a day.
Before we were born the humans before us, created a big outside dream that we will call society’s dream or the dream of the planet.
The dream of the planet is the collective dream of billions of smaller, personal dreams. This includes all of society’s rules, its beliefs, its religions, its different cultures and way to be, its governments, schools, social events, and holidays.
The outside dream has so many rules that when a new human is born, we hook the child’s attention and introduce these rules to his or her mind.
Attention is the ability we have to discriminate and to focus only on that which we want to perceive. The adults around us hooked our attention and put information into our minds through repetition. That is the way we learned everything we know.
We learned how to behave in society: what to believe and what not to believe; what is acceptable and what is not acceptable; what is good and what is bad; what is beautiful and what is ugly; what is right and what is wrong.
Our parents, teachers, and siblings were all trying to hook your attention. We also learn to hook the attention of other humans, and we develop a need for attention, which can become competitive. The need for attention becomes very strong and continues into adulthood.
The outside dream hooks our attention and teaches us what to believe, beginning with the language we speak. Language is the code for understanding and communication between humans. Every letter, every word in each language is an agreement. Once we understand the code, our attention is hooked and the energy is transferred from one person to another.
As children, we didn’t have the opportunity to choose our beliefs, but we agreed with the information that was passed to us from the dream of the planet through other humans. The only way to store information is by agreement. As soon as we agree, we believe it, and this is called faith. To have faith is to believe unconditionally.
That’s how we learn as children. Children believe everything adults say. The result is surrender to the beliefs with our agreement.
Don Miguel Ruiz calls this process the domestication of humans. And through this domestication we learn to live and how to dream. And we also learn to judge: We judge ourselves, judge other people, and judge the neighbors.
We train our children whom we love so much the same way we train any domesticated animal:
with a system of punishment and reward. When we went against the rules we were punished; when we went along with the rules we got a reward. Soon we became afraid of being punished and also afraid of not receiving the reward. The reward is the attention that we got from others. We soon develop a need to hook other people’s attention in order to get the reward.
With that fear of being punished and that fear of not getting the reward, we start pretending to be what we are not, just to please others, just to be good enough for someone else. We are afraid of being rejected. The fear of being rejected becomes the fear of not being good enough.
Eventually, we become someone that we are not.
All our normal tendencies are lost in the process of domestication.
The domestication is so strong that at a certain point in our life we no longer need anyone to domesticate us. We are so well trained that we are our own domesticator. We can now domesticate ourselves according to the same belief system we were given and using the same punishment and reward. The belief system is like a Book of Law that rules our minds. We base all of our judgments according to the book of Law.
The inner Judge uses what is in our Book of Law to judge everything we do and don’t do, everything we think and don’t think, and everything we feel and don’t feel. Everything lives under the tyranny of this judge.
There is another part of us that receives the judgments, and this part is called the Victim. The victim carries the blame, the guilt, and the shame.
Our childhood beliefs are based on a belief system that we never chose to believe. These beliefs are so strong, that even years later when we are exposed to new concepts and try to make our own decisions, we find that these beliefs still control our lives.
Breaking the rules in the Book of Law opens your emotional wounds. Even if the Book of Law is wrong, it makes you feel safe. Our belief system is the Book of Laws that rules our personal dream. All these laws exist in our mind, we believe them, and the Judge inside us bases everything on these rules.
True justice is paying only once for each mistake. True injustice is paying more than once for each mistake. The human is the only animal on earth that pays a thousand times for the same mistake. Every time we remember a mistake, we judge ourselves again, we are guilty again, and we punish ourselves again, and again, and again.
How many times do we make our spouse, our children, or our parents pay for the same mistake?
The Judge in the mind is wrong because the belief system, the Book o Law, is wrong. Ninety-five per cent of the beliefs we have stored in our minds are nothing but lies, and we suffer because believe all these lies.
Every human has his or her personal dream, and just like the society dream, it is often ruled by fear. The same fears manifest in different ways for each person but we experience anger,
jealousy, hate, envy, and other negative emotions.
All of humanity is searching for truth, justice, and beauty. We don’t see the truth because we are blind. What blinds us are all those false beliefs we have in our minds. We have the need to be right and to make others wrong. Our beliefs set us up for suffering.
To be alive is the biggest fear humans have. Death is not the biggest fear we have; the biggest fear is taking the risk to be alive – the risk to be alive and express what we really are. We have learned to live our life trying to satisfy other people’s demands. We have learned to live by other people’s points of view because of the fear f not being accepted and of not being good enough for someone else.
During the process of domestication, we create an image of how we should be in order to be accepted by everybody. We create this image, but this image is not real. We are never going to be perfect from this point of view.
Not being perfect, we reject ourselves. We are not good enough for ourselves because we don’t fit with our own image of perfection. We feel false, frustrated, and dishonest. The result is that we feel unauthentic and wear social masks to keep others from noticing this. We are so afraid that somebody else will notice that we are not what we pretend o be. We judge others
according to our image of perfection as well, and they naturally fall short of our firstname.lastname@example.org 4
Humans punish themselves endlessly for not being what they believe they should be. Nobody ever abuses us more than we abuse ourselves, and it is the Judge, the Victim, and the belief systems that make us do this.
We have the need o be accepted and loved by others, but we cannot accept and love ourselves.
The more self-love we have, the less we will experience self-abuse. Self-abuse comes from self-rejection, and self-rejection comes from having an image of what it means to be perfect and never measuring up to that ideal.
There are thousands of agreements you have made with yourself, with other people, with your dream of life, with God, with society, with your parents, with your spouse, with your children.
But the most important agreements are the ones you made with yourself. In these agreements, you tell yourself who you are, what you feel, what you believe, and how to behave.
If you want to live a life of joy and fulfillment, you have to find the courage to break those agreements that are fear-based and claim your personal power. Our personal power is dissipated by all the agreements we have created, and the result is that we feel powerless.
If we can see it is our agreements, which rule our life, and we don’t like the dream of our life, we need to change the agreements. When we are finally ready to change our agreements, there are four very powerful agreements that will help us break those agreements that come from fear and deplete our energy.
If you adopt these four new agreements, they will create enough personal power for you to change the entire system of your old agreements.
If you can begin to live your life with these agreements, the transformation in your life will be amazing.
First, of Best Four Agreements book review
Be Impeccable With Your Word
Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of the word in the direction of truth and love.
The first agreement is the most important one and also the most difficult one to honor. It is very, very powerful.
Through the word, you express your creative power. It is through the word that you manifest everything. What you dream, what you feel, and what you really are.
The word is a force; it is the power you have to express and communicate, to think, and thereby to create the events in your life. But like a sword with two edges, your word can create the most beautiful dream, or your word can destroy everything around you.
The word is so powerful that one word can change a life or destroy the lives of millions of people. Hitler’s word, based on fear-generated beliefs and agreements, will be remembered for centuries.
During our domestication, our parents and siblings gave their opinions about us without even thinking. We believed these opinions and we lived in fear over these opinions, like not being good at swimming or writing.
By hooking our attention, the word can enter our mind and change a whole belief for better or worse. For example, You may believe you are stupid. And you may have believed this for as long as you can remember. This belief may cause you to do a lot of things just to ensure that you are stupid. Then one day, someone hooks your attention and using the word, lets you know that you are not stupid. You believe what the person says and make a new agreement. As a result, you no longer feel or act, and someone hooks your attention and says, “Yes, you are really the most stupid person I have ever met,” the agreement will be reinforced and become even stronger.
Impeccability means “without sin”. A sin is anything that you do that goes against yourself. You go against yourself when you judge or blame yourself for anything. Being without sin is exactly the opposite. Being impeccable is not going against yourself. You take responsibility for your actions, but you do not judge or blame yourself.
Sin begins with the rejection of yourself. Self-rejection is the biggest sin that you can commit.
If I love myself I will express that love in my interactions with you, and then I am being impeccable with the word because that action will produce a like reaction. If I love you, then you will love me.
Being impeccable with your word is the correct use of your energy; it means to use your energy in the direction of truth and love for yourself. If you make an agreement with yourself to be impeccable with your word, just with that intention, the truth will manifest through you and clean all the emotional poison that exists within you. But making this agreement is difficult because we have learned to do precisely the opposite.
We must begin to understand what the word is and what the word does. If you understand the first agreement, be impeccable with your word, you begin to see all the changes that can happen in your life. Changes first in the way you deal with yourself, and later in the way you deal with other people, especially those you love the most.
If we adopt the first agreement and become impeccable with our word, any emotional poison will eventually be cleaned from our minds and from our communication in our personal relationships.
Impeccability of the word will also give you immunity from anyone putting a negative spell on you. You will receive a negative idea if your mind is fertile ground for that idea.
You can measure the impeccability of your word by your level of self-love. How much you love yourself and how you feel about yourself is directly proportionate to the quality and integrity of your word. When you are impeccable with your word, you feel good; you feel happy and at peace.
It is up to you to make this agreement with yourself: I am impeccable with my word. Nurture this seed, as it grows in your mind, it will generate more seeds of love to replace the seeds of fear. This first agreement will change the kind of seeds your mind is fertile for.
Be impeccable with your word. This is the first agreement that you should make if you want to be free if you want to be happy.
Use the word to share your love, beginning with yourself. Use the word to break all those teeny, tiny agreements that make you suffer.
Impeccability of the word can lead you to personal freedom, to huge success and abundance; it can take away all fear and transform it into joy and love.
Second, of Best Four Agreements book review
Don’t Take Anything Personally
Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the options and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.
The next three agreements are really born from the first agreement. The second agreement is don’t take anything personally.
Personal importance, or taking things personally, is the maximum expression of selfishness because we make the assumption that everything is about “me”. During the period of our domestication, we learn to take everything personally. We think we are responsible for everything.
Nothing other people do is because of you. It is because of themselves. Even when a situation seems so personal, even if others insult you directly, it has nothing to do with you. The opinions they give are according to the agreements they have in their own minds. Their point of view comes from all the programming they received during domestication.
When you take things personally, you feel offended, and your reaction is to defend your beliefs and create conflicts. You make something big out of something so little because you have the need to be right and make everybody else wrong. You also try hard to be right by giving them your own opinions. Whatever you feel and do is just a projection of your own personal dream, a reflection of your own agreements.
It is not important to me what you think about, and I don’t take what you think personally. I know what I am. I don’t have the need to be accepted. Others are going to have their own
opinion according to their belief system, so nothing they think about me is really about me, but it is about them.
Whatever people do, feel, think, or say, don’t take it personally. If they tell you how wonderful you are, they are no saying that because of you. You know you are wonderful. It is not necessary to believe other people who tell you that you are wonderful.
Even the opinions you have about yourself are not necessarily true; therefore, you don’t need to take whatever you hear in your own mind personally.
There may be times when you have ideas that don’t originate in your mind, but you are perceiving them with your mind. We have a choice whether or not to believe the voices we hear within our own minds, just as we have a choice of what to believe and agree with in the dream of the planet.
When you make it a strong habit not to take anything personally, you avoid many aspects of your life. Your anger, jealousy, and envy will disappear, and even your sadness will simply disappear if you don’t take things personally.
You can see how important this agreement is. Taking nothing personally helps you to break many habits and routines that trap you in the dream of hell and cause needless suffering. Just by practicing this second agreement, you begin to break dozens of teeny, tiny, agreements that cause you to suffer. And if you practice the first two agreements, you will break seventy-five per cent of the teeny, tiny agreements that keep you trapped.
As you make a habit of not taking anything personally, you will only need to place your trust in what others say or do. You will only need to trust yourself to make responsible email@example.com 7
Third of Best Four Agreements book review
Don’t Make Assumptions
Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness, and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.
We have a tendency to make assumptions about everything. The problem with making assumptions is that we believe they are the truth.
Whenever we make assumptions, we’re asking for problems. We make an assumption, we misunderstand, we take it personally, and we end up creating a whole big drama for nothing.
The whole world of control between humans is about making assumptions and taking things personally.
Because we are afraid to ask for clarification, we make assumptions, and we believe we are right about the assumptions; then we defend our assumptions and try to make someone else wrong. It is always better to ask questions than to make an assumption because assumptions set us up for suffering.
It is always better to ask questions than to make an assumption. In any kind of relationship, we can make the assumption that others know what we think, and we don’t have to say what we want. They are going to do what we want because they know us so well. If they don’t do what we want, what we assume they should do, we feel hurt. A whole drama is created because we make this assumption and then put more assumptions on top of it.
The human mind needs to justify everything, to explain and understand everything, in order to feel safe. We have millions of questions that need answers because there are so many things
that the reasoning mind can’t explain. It is not important if the answer is correct; just the answer itself makes us feel safe. This is why we make assumptions.
Even if we hear something and we don’t understand, we make assumptions about what it means and then believe the assumptions. We make all sorts of assumptions because we don’t have the courage to ask questions.
These assumptions are made so fast and unconsciously most of the time because we have agreements to communicate this way. We have agreed that it is not safe to ask questions; we
have agreed that if people love us, they should know what we want or how we feel. When we
believe something, we assume we are right about it to the point that we will destroy relationships in order to defend our positions.
We make the assumption that everyone sees life the way we do. We assume that others think the way we think, feel the way we feel, judge the way we judge, and abuse the way we abuse.
This is the biggest assumption that humans make.
We also make assumptions about ourselves, and this creates a lot of inner conflicts.
Just imagine the day you stop making assumptions with your partner and eventually with everyone else in your life. Your way of communicating will change completely, and your
relationships will no longer suffer from conflicts by mistaken assumptions.
The way to keep yourself from making assumptions is to ask questions. Make sure the communication is clear. Have the courage to ask the questions until you are clear as you can be,
and then do not assume you know all there is to know about a given situation. Once you hear the answer, you will not have to make assumptions because you will know the truth.
Without making assumptions your word becomes impeccable.
With clear communications, all your relationships will firstname.lastname@example.org www.100mustreads.com 8
Becoming aware of these habits and understanding the importance of this agreement is the first step. What will really make a difference is an action. After many repetitions, these agreements will become second nature.
By making this one agreement a habit, your whole life will be completely transformed.
Fourth of Best Four Agreements book review
Always Do Your Best
Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstances do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse, and regret.
This agreement allows the other three to become deeply ingrained habits. The fourth agreement is about the action of the first three: Always do your best.
Keep in mind that your best is never going to be the same from one moment to the next. Your best will sometimes be high quality, and other times it will not be as good.
Your best will also change over time. As you build the habit of the four agreements, your best will become better than it used to be.
Just do your best – in any circumstance of your life. If you always do your best then there is no way you can judge yourself. And if you don’t judge yourself there is no way you are going to suffer from guilt, blame, and self-punishment. By always doing your best, you will break a big spell that you have been under.
Doing your best, you are going to live your life intensely. When you always do your best, you will take action. Doing your best is taking the action because you love it, not because you’re expecting a reward. If you take action just for the sake of doing it, without expecting a reward, you will find that you enjoy every action you do. Rewards will come, but you are not attached to the reward. If we like what we do, if we always do our best, then we are really enjoying life.
We are having fun, we don’t get bored, and we don’t have frustrations.
It is not an easy agreement to keep, but this agreement is really going to set you free.
When you do your best you learn to accept yourself. But you have to be aware and learn from your mistakes. Learning from your mistakes means you practice, look honestly at the results, and keep practicing. This increases your awareness.
Taking action is being alive. It’s taking the risk to go out and express your dream.
The first three agreements will only work if you do your best. By doing your best, the habits of misusing your word, taking things personally, and making assumptions will become weaker and less frequent with time.
If you do your best always, over and over again, you will become a master of transformation.
Everything you have ever learned, you learned through repetition. Action is what makes the difference.
If you break an agreement, begin again tomorrow, and again the next day. Some day you will discover that you are ruling your life with these Four Agreements. Just live one day at a time and stay in the present moment.
The Toltec Path to Freedom Breaking Old Agreements
To be Toltec is a way of life. It is a way of life where there are no leaders and no followers, where you have your own truth and live your own email@example.com 9
There are three masteries that lead people to become Toltec:
First is the Mastery of Awareness. This is to be aware of who we really are, with all the possibilities.
The second is the Mastery of Transformation – how to change, how to be free of domestication.
The third is the Mastery of Intent. The intent from the Toltec point of view is that part of life that makes the transformation of energy possible; it is the one living being that seamlessly encompasses all energy, or what we call “God”. The intent is life itself; it is unconditional love. The Mastery of Intent is therefore the Mastery of Love.
When we talk about the Toltec path to freedom, we find that they have an entire map for breaking free of domestication. They compare the Judge, the victim, and the belief system to a parasite that invades the human mind. The food for the parasite is the negative emotions that come from fear.
The Toltecs believe that the parasite has control of your mind.
The freedom we seek is to use our own mind and body, to live our own life, instead of the life of the belief system.
We have two choices. One is to keep living the way we are, to surrender to the Judge, and the victim, to keep living in the dream of the planet. The second choice is to do what we do as children when parents try to domesticate us. We can rebel and say “No!”
If we want to be free, we have to destroy the parasite. One solution is to face each of our fears one by one. This is a slow process but it works.
The second approach is to stop feeding the parasite – to gain control of our emotions; we have to refrain from fueling the emotions that come from fear. The third solution is the initiation of the dead – a symbolic death that kills the parasite without harming our physical body.
The process of domestication can be called the dream of the first attention because it was how your attention was used for the first time to create the first dream of your life.
One way to change your beliefs is to focus your attention on all those agreements and beliefs, and change the agreements with yourself. In doing this you are using your attention for the second time, thus creating the dream of the second attention or the new dream.
The difference is that you are no longer innocent. Now it’s up to you to choose what to believe and what not to believe, and that includes believing in yourself.
The first step is to come aware of the fig that is in your mind. Only with the awareness do you have the possibility of transforming your dream. If you have the awareness that the whole drama of your life is the result of what you believe, and what you believe is not real, then you can begin to change it. You need to focus your attention on what it is that you want to change. You have to know which agreements you want to change before you can change them.
So the next step is to develop an awareness of all the self-limiting beliefs that make you unhappy. You take an inventory of all that you believe, all your agreements, and through this process, you begin the transformation. The Toltecs call this the Art of Transformation. One of the ways to do this is to explore and adopt alternative beliefs such as the four Agreements.
The four Agreements were created to assist you in the Art of Transformation, to help you break the limiting agreements, gain more personal power, and become stronger. The stronger you get, the more agreements you can break until the moment comes when you make it to the core of all those agreements
Recommendation: This is a tiny little big that can make a big difference in how you view and treat yourself and others.
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The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom (A Toltec Wisdom Book) by Don Miguel Ruiz (Author) 4.7 out of 5 stars60,838 ratings This book is a keeper! no Commission earned on this purchase
If you would like to explore it and enjoy the audio version of the book here is the link.
Stay blessed, Stay put, in love, for love, with love & Sparkles for your amazingness!!
Whispers from one Heart to another heart needing ground, to land on? Indulge in a moment of reflection if the subject is inviting for you. Because I love music here’s a link to a playlist to “read and listen”, relax, enjoy, and stay open-minded. Spiritual Bazaar-Music for the Heart playlist.
So let’s just gently touch the surface of:
Physical Vs Emotional Scars
(Whispers from one Heart to another)
The physical aspect of us can be changed cosmetically, can be seen in the mirror, generally easy to ‘describe’, and these scars generally heal well and are mostly concealed anyhow.
With the scars of the heart – the emotional scars its a very different subject altogether, be it either inflicted upon us for no reason at all, as a result of our choices, or for any other reason altogether, either way, emotional scars are carried through a lifetime mostly always… yeah pretty much always and they do not fade even though most times they are not even visible.
The point is that it is alright to have dark moments, does not make us any more or less worth it, more or less special. While we cannot change the events of the past, we can certainly change the way we see them for our future from now onwards.
So now that we established that we each have our own share of scars and that, that is ok, how do you learn to live with them?
We do not get over, forget or move on per see from their causes – for they don’t just vanish. We make space for it. We carry it, and learn to live with it – depending on the lenses through which we choose to see it all through, we strive in spite of it!
How do we live with emotional scars?
“Every dark moment is a teacher” read again…
“The only time, we can change the future is in the present”
When I conscientiously, and intentionally began my journey of seeking personal change & growth everything began changing including me. It is astounding to discover what I’ve become as a result.
Seeking personal change, emotional intelligence, and or growth is for everyone, it is not a special call of some sort and not only it is that simple, but it is also that easy. It is a choice that follows by a decision and a plan of action.
We create life with the future in mind, one day at a time, often mindlessly forgetting to be in the present, this “is” what becomes of our reality… then future thoughts become past thoughts, then again, and again in a loop that repeats itself
In truth, life happens here and now. This awareness opens the windows of the soul.
Becoming aware of the idea that we live life looking at the rearview mirror, enlightens us to understand how we live the present, in order to change the future. Finding that it is all at my will was mind-blowing (I knew it before most likely but it was like I was on autopilot) hence not with the same dept, I’d not seen it from that perspective or in that light, at least not up until then.
See, when I started learning that life may well boil down to what we create for ourselves, I realize I had some sort of control to choose and decided to act upon it, only that at this time mindfully so, or more carefully and considerately at least.
I was astounded to discover that, as simple as it sounds it is up to us how and when to steer the wheel, and where I want to sail. The question became what was I going to focus on next? where was I heading? even if sort of aimlessly at first. So I began in the direction of my dreams and desires. I kept testing this idea or theory, and still do as every now and then we take the wrong turn here and there and need to look into it, the further I went the better I became… This is how we navigate through our human experience
When the mind’s focus is on what happened to you, you become what happened to you because you let it define who you are.
When you navigate behind your dreams and desires, you dim your light and your potential.
When you survive instead of striving, you become a victim of the story you tell yourself and others, (let me tell you, we can make up some real stories alright)
When all you do is regurgitate all the sorrow about your existence, you claim more poverty of all kinds, emotional, physical, and spiritual. Like attracts like.
When you give wings to your imagination, dam we can fly pretty high in whichever direction that may be, good to your benefit or bad to your detriment. The effort is the same so why not do so to your benefit rather?
Who do you want to be? Go, be it! No one’s holding you back… but yourself.
“Stop walking through the world, looking for confirmation that you don’t belong” if you look for sorrow, inadequacies, your shortcomings and a poor existence, that is what you will get more of, believe me, you.
Grab every opportunity to build and pursue your dreams. Who do you want to become? be it! you have the choice isn’t that Awesome?
When you shift your focus from the pain of your scars so does the focus on the past, and your shadows shift, and you start living in the present, which automatically changes your future too, and further live by this default. I did it works! changing becomes effortless. This is the healing process.
The past cannot be changed. The idea of personally or internally being ok with my scars in order to move on, sounded insane and pathetic at times, needless to say, that forgiveness is a module that cannot be skipped during this growth and transformation process. Forgiveness and others like gratitude, honesty, and so on have to be practiced and it becomes a companion throughout life’s journey till the day we die. The longer practiced the better and easier it becomes.
Finding within yourself a way of seeing it as such is the goal, otherwise, we stay stuck in the void, paralyzed and frozen in time and looping in circles trying to understand why it happened to you, wishing it never did, hopelessly in fear that it could happen again… building up walls, defenses as protection mechanisms (a long hard road I can tell that much), and a bottomless pit.
We do know that there is no turning back and so wishing it never happened isn’t a helpful approach at all, not in the long run anyway; It is not about the perpetrators either, nor the reasons for why it happened to us – no one ever deserves to be hurt, disrespected, mistreated, or in any way abused in the hands of another human. Therefore, it is what it is. It happened and we cannot change that fact, what changed? how I felt about it.
So, this is how you live with your scars, they will be there, however not as a reminder of pain, but as teachers and remembrance of the worrier that you are, for healing purposes.
So, I ask you, what are you focusing on, in your life?
Home is wherever the Heart is...
Spotting my ground before landing, whenever life takes an unexpected turn has always required, seeing and being myself worthy, deserving, and belonging to evolve and manifest my desires
When in lack of any one of the above I could not see the light and could not feel the rays of Love energy either, not because it ceased to exist within me as is an endless source for you, for me, and anyone but because I was on my own way.
The job of the Heart chakra, wheel, or energy center is endlessly channeling unconditional universal love, that encompasses all there is in this regard or any other that concerns our species. We either tap on it or block it, consciously or not. When I became aware, I also became fond of the idea of learning to be its essence! Loved. Loving, in-love… simply ” Being”.
The choice and decision to embrace it include validation of one’s emotions. look inwards in search of truth, my heart chakra is the conduit available to me and to all of us. When we let the ego get in the way, we break up the signal of this connection, the guidance ‘we get on our own way’ and lost.
Every time we experience the field of love light radiating, we realize how closed, and disconnected we become throughout life.
As in waking up from a dream, you cannot figure how long it went on for… how long did I kept it going, enabled it, my role, or for how long I’d been disabled from radiating the love to, from & through me, yet the channel was always there?
None of this is a matter of logic, nor matters of the mind, but the heart- Sense of Knowing, emotions, intuition – When it comes to such matters, the mind gets more in the way than it actually really helps.
Only Self-Love heals emotional wounds
Our answers hold the insight for the transformation that we desire
Questioning ourselves however challenging and awkward it may feel is the way to get the answers we want from our hearts, questions are the triggers that spark Self-healing, Self-Love, and Emotional Intelligence.
Talk to your heart, in silence … then listen to your heart’s reply.
This ANCIENT Technique to Making Tough Decisions | Gregg Braden – listen to it here is so simple, yet so powerful.
The blessings of Letting Go? to find and leave in peace, freedom from what no longer serves you is like none other. Some people have to be loved at a distance, others do not at all because they don’t deserve to be in your heart or in your life at all. The example being used is about a relationship between a narcissistic father and a daughter.
This applies to any other situation of a kind, relationship, or interaction for this matter.
WHEN disconnecting and distancing is really all we can do.
♥ Letting go is a blessing when it’s because you’re worthy ♥
A 19-year-old girl writes a letter to her narcissist dad describing her 10-year journey better than I could ever convey it.
The letter below is just one in a million examples of what letting go in this context feels like. I hope it makes a difference for her and all those that come to read it.
I’ve been wanting to speak to you, and I’ve been putting it off because it never felt like the right time. However, I’ve realized that the time will never feel right. It’s a sensitive and somewhat uncomfortable conversation. I’m not responsible for how you interpret this, but I want you to know that I don’t want to fight or argue…I’ve been feeling very heavy-hearted when it comes to this. If I sound confrontational… By all means, I’m not trying to attack… blame anyone so be open-minded while reading this, and try to see things from my side, just this once…
I know being sensitive isn’t your forte but I feel like I’ve always been on the short end of the stick. Always feeling sad, always hurting but it feels unfair to continue letting myself feel this way without trying to talk to you
I don’t know … but every time I think of my dad, I think of someone unapproachable
I’m not sure about you but I don’t think feeling that way is a good thing. I can’t explain it but it has been like this since the divorce. I have always felt that my dad, didn’t care.
He didn’t care enough to provide continuity. It wasn’t his job as a father. It was up to him when and how much he contributed. Nothing was unconditional…
I got through my teenage years just accepting it. I made sure I kept myself as busy as possible to ensure I never had the time to give it any thought.
My job during school was to get good grades and excel. The financial stuff was between mom and dad and had nothing to do with us kids. On the contrary, it had and still has everything to do with us. It was no secret that mom paid for the food we ate, the house we lived in, the clothes we wore, the school we went to, and not once did we ever go without anything we needed. And she would do it without us even asking her to. Unconditional.
But dad… with you it was different…
With you, we always had to ask. And more often than not I would ask with my tail between my legs, I felt as if I was always asking and expecting way too much from you. It’s always been much more than paying for my school tournaments, flights to you and back, or paying for medical aid. Don’t get me wrong. I am beyond grateful that you did allow me to play and be part of the team, but it isn’t about the money.
All I have ever felt is that it’s only about the money for you, and the exact figure to a cent with you. Nothing felt unconditional.
…saddest part of it all is that I can’t say I’ve ever felt love from you. And as much as it might hurt or be a slap in the face to hear this, it’s the hard truth and I’ve let these feelings bottle up for ten years now.
I have been feeling this hurt for literally almost 10 years to the dot.
There’s no rulebook to marriage or parenthood. And I ask this in the nicest way possible, would you be happy if your “little girl”, your blood, someone who you hopefully do care for, were to marry someone like you and go through a divorce as messy as yours and moms were?
It hurts Dad, it really, really breaks me because I pray I never get treated the way mom did, and I pray that I don’t marry someone who will leave me to support my children and make my kids feel the hurt I have felt every day of my life for 10 long years.
The thought of committing to something as big as children terrifies me. Because no child should ever have to feel the way I did growing up. And how will I ever know? How will I ever know what the man I marry one day will be capable of?
In December I visited because I thought I should go visit my family, I wanted to believe that you’ve changed. And as much as you have in some ways, there’s no avoiding the fact that you’ve never prioritized your kids as much as I’ve seen other fathers doing. It’s way too late to change my childhood. It’s gone forever. But it’s time for me to deal with my childhood trauma. And this is the only way I can think of. Making myself extremely vulnerable and approaching you.
Vulnerability – the quality or state of being exposed to the possibility of being attacked or harmed, either physically or emotionally. That’s exactly what I’m doing. I’m laying all my cards on the table. I’m tired of pretending that your actions haven’t hurt me. I’m tired of acting tough.
It’s not uncommon for kids to have issues with parents, especially nowadays. I have many friends who have similar problems. But when they admit that my situation is a lot worse. I can’t even begin to describe the pain I feel.
For the longest time, I was angry. I was so mad that I didn’t have a father who provided unconditionally. But anger wasn’t going to solve anything, being mad at you wasn’t going to change your ways. I’ve accepted that nothing will ever be able to change.
It’s too late to fix how I feel, it’s been engraved. But it might not be too late for my sibling. I think it’s often easy to not think of how our actions affect those around us. But when you’re constantly shouting or constantly angry, do you think any of us feel we can approach you? There is no doubt that my brother needs a fatherly figure in his life, and yet he has been the one that has visited you the most. Half of the time I’ve questioned, why in the world would anyone keep going back to a place where they get beatendown for not knowing certain things or for doing things wrong? the only explanation I can come up with is that he needs his dad. He’s no longer a child, he is a young man who needs his dad to guide him. Only four more years and he will no longer be a teenager and money will no longer be able to buy his calls or to buy his love.
Sincerely your daughter who hopes to one day, have a better relationship”.
Don’t forget it’s always about them!
The narcissist father-child relationship is painful and devastating,
many can relate to Emotional as well as Verbal abuse.
Let them Go because you are better off without the permanent reminder of how useless, worthless, valueless, and stupid they want you to believe you are. The fact is it is their problem, not yours
That is just who they are, their world, this won’t ever change… They know no better, but you do!
” IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT period, none of it is!
Not from the beginning,
Not now…It was never you, not now, or ever…
Because it was, is, and always will be only about them
” From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia: A narcissistic parent is a parent affected by narcissism or narcissistic personality disorder. Typically, narcissistic are possessively close to their children and are threatened by their children’s growing independence… with the parent considering that the child exists solely to fulfill the parent’s needs and wishes. Narcissistic parents will often try to control their children with threats and emotional abuse.
Narcissistic parenting adversely affects:
Psychological development of children, their reasoning, emotional, ethical, and societal behaviors and attitudes.
Personal boundaries are often disregarded with the goal of molding and manipulating the child to satisfy their expectations”
Narcissistic parents are self-absorbed, inflexible, and lack the empathy necessary for child-raising.
Get it now? Not your fault!
This is about releasing the emotional abuse you have been through. Whatever the experience is for you, all that matters is that you are a divine being, a rough diamond needing some polishing & healing, but a diamond nonetheless.
Stay blessed, Stay put, in love, for love, with love & Sparkles for your amazingness!!
When is Giving a Blessing in disguise? Everyone has something to give! I am always changing a song for you if you’d like to read while listening to it. Enjoy 😉
Every one of us has life challenges, and experiences of some sort. We all have a lot to share that can help others, yet we hold back because we think that if our own life isn’t perfect, what would we have to share? Yet it is because our life is not perfect that we have so much to share. Have you ever stopped a minute or two to just think about that?
Isn’t life essentially a journey of growth and development, that each of us embarks on? Different paths lead to different outcomes. There are, of course, similarities that individual journeys share with one another; Everyone’s Life is a journey, an evolution, and a remembrance of some sort, it just is.
There are people out there looking for exactly what we have to offer. We CAN help an individual not because we have money or possessions we can help because we don’t have to be perfect for our light to shine bright! Nobody has it completely perfect. Even the people you think do, don’t. Your gifts are needed! Everyone has something to offer, everyone.
Why Is Giving a Blessing and a gift?
There is no such as a perfectly perfect life, there are perfect imperfections, as I like to call them. That is precisely the most valuable of all gifts. Your heart is blessed when you’re humble, vulnerable, and share your experiences. Everyone has an encouraging story with the potential to lift and motivate someone else that is going through a similar storm that we’ve been through, at some point in our life.
Without darkness, there’s no light, when we strive for anything better without an option, we escape misery, then truth keeps us moving through and investing ourselves to expand, grow and evolve, regardless of how much we have accomplished in life. The experience we accumulate through challenges and ordeals is proof that we learn to navigate storms because we have had to sail, it is what we learn in the process from darkness to light that is the essence of such a gift. That is the gift.
When Is Giving a Blessing?
When we “Hold the hands of those that are just a few steps behind you, up to your level and vibration and as you keep ascending, keep pulling them up along with you” (Simone Hodgin), this is the gift that we of course have, and can always be shared to elevate, lighten others. When we open the channel and vibrate the energy of our heart in turn the universe attracts the beautiful souls that are looking for what we have… can, and want to give or share. The universe leads them to find us. I promise you; it sure does, and it is then how the giver receives too ten times fold Hence the blessing Is mutual for both the giver and the receiver
The author of the Book ‘Brave’ Livia Terra does that, if you would like to see the first pages check the Amazon link, the best $5 dollars anyone could ever spend, it’s also a gift literally.
Why I am talking about this…
(Blessing in disguise)
It took me long enough time to realize that it is from the hardest, hurtful soul-ripping, and tearing experiences at times that we inevitably, unequivocally gain the most valuable of all ‘Gifts’. It is when we can look at all the changes that happened to us from different lenses and perspectives that we discover our blessings!
It is never ‘for’ self-detriment or ‘in’ self- detriment that we have to go through such, nor as with a purpose of destruction of any kind. Pain and hurt are our Masters, choose to see them differently. Be certain that it is always and certainly for our growth, there is wisdom in every difficult experience to help us connect the dots. We either see it this way or we don’t, but we can at any time make the choice to do so.
When we choose to see challenging adversities this way, we are automatically equipped to change patterns and directions, and transform spiritually and emotionally. This way we have the potential to live a peaceful loving and content life. As weird as it sounds trust me, all the bad has a good value and brings a life-changing opportunity. However, none of it feels this way when we look at it through the lenses and perspective of a victim.
“You never know the divine plan. There is intelligence out there that is looking out for you even if it may not look like it at the time you are going through it. As long as you do your part in processing what is coming up, every bad day is a healing day”. Every hard situation is a healing situation… Trust! ” Livia Terra author of the book “Brave“
Here is another excerpt from Dr. Sue Mortar’s e-book…
“Hey, whatever is going on in my world, it’s in my favor and it’s here to show me how “big” I truly am…
If I lose a job, maybe it’s because that job was never going to allow me to express my fullness as
a Soulful Self here in this life the way that I’m intended to.
If I lose a relationship or it appears that I’m losing something, it is because of the energetics of that
dynamic is no longer serving me.
If something is rejecting me, it is because the universe is intervening and saying, ‘No thank you.
That’s not your path.
You can start to claim this disposition of recognizing that every single thing that occurs in your life is in support of you. It is a change in your perspective that will change every single aspect of your day, your year, your decade, and your entire lifetime.”
When we are grateful for the tough and the worst lessons we’ve lived through in our personal life and experience;
When we believe that it happens the way it does for our highest good, we can then keep showing up and shining our light!
What changes? everything!
We see, feel, think and live life differently from that point – this is why I am talking about this, to experience contentment, happiness, love and so on, this is certainly a guaranteed way to start. This way of thinking has turned my life around, just as Dr Sue and Livia Terra ‘say’.
From my heart to yours, what have you got to lose by experimenting with life for a while with this mind?
I know what it did for me, I have and still practice this every day. Thinking this way helps me every time again and again.
Below I will add the links that will take you to Brave Livia Terra’s book and Dr. Sue’s download page, I wish I had read it, or that I knew just that much… much earlier in my life. Lol, don’t we all?
Why does making a difference – matter?
(Giving is itself what makes the difference)
Why does making a difference, sharing, or giving matter? is so important? Many believe and I certainly do too because I’ve experienced that receiving is great! BUT Giving is Divine.
It is not ‘what’ we give per see that matters it is the “intention we hold” rather… and vibrate “that is the difference between being in giving mode, expecting mode, or receiving mode!
When we live to make a difference, we co-habit in that space of the heart that’s tuned to truth and the most authentic and pure frequency of acceptance and surrender. The frequency of Love is the most powerful vibration.
Divine is the one that gives unconditionally
(expect nothing in return)
When a gift is sincere, from the heart the effect is amplified and vibrates within us way before it reaches the recipient. That is the effect that the connections between sharing/giving ~ receiving/sharing have, in the way that makes giving really magical to our inner-self, the inward and within ourselves miracle that manifests when it is then offered to another outwardly, free of attachments, unconditional. Just as we would describe unconditional Love.
If you think you have nothing to give because all you have received was shit, then now is the perfect time for a change of mind, a change of heart – because it is now that you *get to know better* the time to understand and experience it.
Love is the most powerful Vibration
The value of giving unconditionally is in the experience we provide to everyone that comes our way, be it for a reason, a season, or for a lifetime.
Sometimes we attract directly or indirectly those that need our gift or at times they come into our path through a crossroad, coincidences, or synchronicities somehow. Other times people merely bump into us and just a smile makes the difference; Such a word someone needed to hear; A chair we vacate to offer a cripple or anyone, simply just because they need more than we do, like helping an elderly cross the street for example.
The gifts that matter most are those that make the biggest difference and we never knew they would;
It is why they are divine, the simplistic gestures may well be a matter of life and death, and they may look and sound ordinary, mundane yet the source of a beautiful exchange nonetheless.
It is key to acknowledge that what happens to us, has a bigger purpose, even if we do not understand it at first, receive it, it is the kinda gift that passes on the human legacy and experience, this is when giving and receiving, happen at once, simultaneously.
“If you can turn any bad situation into a healing session, you grow exponentially”
by Livia Terra (source: book “Brave”)
In order to make it happen, in order for it to happen, practice gratitude, humbleness, generosity, kindness, and vulnerability like you would a sport, yoga, or meditation. It is safe.
The expectation of getting something in return is a dead end.
I am talking about the energetic field your heart taps into and the act of giving and receiving are one and the same hence the gift itself is both for the giver, and receiver, pure, raises our vibration which in turn floods the heart with tingling sensations, the popular say feeling butterflies in your belly.
It is from that space in my heart that I am here sharing with you this gift.
” I will always have one foot in gratitude, and I will always have the other foot stepping into desire- Always”
by Simone Hodgins.
I wish nothing less for you, I do want just this for you too because my purpose is to hold every hand I can, and wish that every hand I hold goes onto holding more hands themselves. It is a gift we can share with one another, and as we keep ascending, more get to experience the gift of inspiration and liberation! I invite you to deposit love into your emotional bank account so there is more to give one another.
Like Simone says keep one foot in gratitude and the other in your desire, for as long as we desire to share the heart’s message, we too shall live in gratitude.
Book Brave by Livia Terra: If you want to check it out or purchase it, click here (I absolutely loved reading this book – Magnificent! for $ five dollars? It is a GIFT!! far more valuable than 5 dollars, that is a fact.
Then subscribe to download Dr. Sue Mortar’s free ebook The Top 3 Mistakes That Keep You from Fulfilment & Flow. (Available for free for a limited time.) Note that at the bottom of the same page, you can also reserve your seat absolutely free for her upcoming 90-Minute Online Webinar about the 3 Secrets to Syncing Up Your Super Powers: How to experience the happiness, vibrant health, love, the fulfillment you deserve in 2021 also by Dr. Sue Mortar I enjoyed it and I have a feeling, you will too.
Stay blessed, Stay put, in love, for love, with love & Sparkles for your amazingness!!
Life happens for you not to you, all the time whether you want to help yourself or not. Your potential is always within your hands’ reach. Life happens for you to evolve mentally and spiritually and so both positive and negative are necessary for the journey, that it is.
Let’s talk about healing the heart, and so let me ask you:
What are you harvesting from your life?
Where have you been storing your crop (emotions)?
Are you reaping what you planted?
What did you reap? or better said, ” what did you plant”? Are you satisfied?
Did you get something beneficial, and meaningful from when your existence began, to right now… after all, we reap as consequences of our actions or lack of it for that matter.
This is not a matter of how hard or if you tried at all as I bet you’ve always tried and have tried very hard, This is to bring to light the emotions that we usually disassociate ourselves for the most various reasons. It is through the accumulation of these that we overload our emotional bank accounts.
Life Happens for you: Emotional Investment
Life has that facet too, but when we invest we reap the benefits of that investment. Now talking about your emotional life investment, what are the benefits you’re reaping from that investment?
You hold the power, it is you that choose if you want to plant a new crop, and therefore decide to make a new investment or not, just as you reap the benefits or not, one is proportional to the other. Everything you choose to do and be from now on… it is up to you, only you owe it to yourself, seriously nobody could even if they tried very hard make you happy, just as you could not make anyone else happy, you can not be responsible for anyone’s mental stability, nor for their joy, contentment nonetheless their happiness. When we become conscious of our ways and behaviors we can change them.
Life Happens for you when you live towards becoming the best version of you
Whatever that version is, is the one you create and therefore live it. From this point on, you can no longer pretend that you did not know ‘that you have the choice’ because now… you know you do.
What do you want to plant forward?
What do you want to get more of?
That is entirely your choice… I’m not saying what is or is not good here, right or wrong, it is whatever you want it to be, but with the condition that it should make you, content, in peace, serene, enjoying life, on your own terms for as long as you enjoy it! if you can imagine it, you can make it real… and you feel it. We each have the answer, in the mind, and heart… Screwing up is common and ordinary, we get over it.
Can we invest in Shame, Guilt, and Self-criticism and expect to reap Pride, Confidence, joy, or self-worth?
Change begins when you know Life Happens for you, not to you.
We don’t have to be or feel miserable for a lifetime,
We just have to go about it differently.
Self-respect, Truth, Authenticity, Loyalty, Forgiveness, and Vulnerability are all part of what it means to Love yourself. When you love who you are, you can not hurt yourself. A kind relationship is what you want with yourself, plant it and you shall reap more of it. Wanting to help yourself is being mindful that opening the door to your awakening is an investment in self-growth.
Everything else is a diversity of blame, let it be a reminder that we can see and recognize our own divinity. Divinity is a gift that is granted to all of us, it does not depend on whether we deserve it or not. Take the chance to see this, and let go of pretending that the life you want is too far from your grasp. Dull people, good people, bad people, and whatever other stereotypes are just labels. The focus should be instead on you, not the judgment, the focus should be on what you want more of and desire and not on what you don’t have. Inner divinity itself has the same potential for you, and everyone else that chooses it.
You do not need to deserve to see yourself in a better light! You do not need permission to like and grow fonder of yourself. To reclaim, and recognize yourself amidst your Greatness, all you need is to stop denying it to yourself.
How bad your experience has been and how horrific, and traumatic the ordeals and dramas you have had, all of it matters, by all means. I respect that and take my hat off to you. I sympathize, I hear you.
You matter, your life matter, and the message, and your footprints shall perpetuate your legacy. You don’t need to be special to count or matter, your experience in life is the story you tell and you are the treasure itself.
How do you plan to go from here on? now that you’ve come this far, it does not matter “the point per see” that point is anywhere, wherever you are at, it is here and now, how do you choose to engage with yourself from here and now onwards? How absurd would it be after all that now, after everything you have been through, everything! and then choose to rather let it destroy you? Does not make sense right? The purpose of all the ordeals we go through is to strengthen us.
“Healing is being grateful for “the past” because from
today you can decide to be the one that makes everybody feel like somebody”
The way you show up is the way you share your past experiences with others, it is your truth, you have been there, and you have lived it, nothing can wipe it out nor can you pretend it never happened – that I am afraid you have no power over.
The power is in the story that you carry about yourself for others.
The value is that you figured out a way to survive through it, and became stronger than you were before the experience.
The purpose is to share in honor of your experience for the benefit of others.
The message in – lieu of your failures is the gift you have to give proudly and freely. You can make a difference one life at a time. When you carry lessons forward instead of burdens from the past, you live lighter more grateful allowing exponentially more of what you desire to manifest into your life.
I believe we must allow self-time to process the past, grief, and heal the wounds. It is a must however to remember that stagnation is not an option. The cycle can only end when we let go of what no longer serves us.
The story we write holds the power, the script becomes the value it can add to others’ life, and overcoming the fear of being vulnerable is healing because now you can pass on the formula you’ve learned, and so you shine. When you help others shine, your light shines brighter.
My beauty is the difference I make when I enlighten someone else through their journey because I have been there. That is the line between living a great life or a miserable one. That is the line between your internal dialogue to success or failure, you are deserving of who you desire to become.
Going further be easy on yourself, a practice not beating yourself or at least not too hard, to begin with, and be kind, generous, and loving to yourself just as you are with others.
The journey may be a long one, or not, depending on how deep you’ve rooted your limiting beliefs, and how willing and committed you are to ” your healing process” while connecting body, mind, and spirit. It requires strength, focus, and determination, sometimes it requires more than you thought you could ever handle! Yet you did. The success of this process relies on your perseverance.
When you are serious and committed to healing you empower yourself and learn the meaning to want to help yourself and others.
Healing your heart (emotions) is to uplift yourself, it is to become a free spirit, joyful emotionally, and mentally. It is to show up in your own life as your best friend. My experience proved to me over and over again that no one can help anyone UNLESS help is what they choose for themselves.
If none of that is what you want, or not just YET, or you need a while longer to leek your wounds that is ok too. I want you to know that however long it takes up until you are ready, you are not alone.
It is bad to decay, destroy and not care for ourselves when it is a matter of choice. However, keep in mind that it is cruel for those that love us, yet have to watch us, no one deserves to witness that, and neither should you!
I hope you can honestly say ‘ I have the life I envisioned for myself, I am going to show up to the universe, humble to learn what I need to learn and my story is glorious. My story is faithful to my truth!
I wish that for you, from this moment on…
“Some people believe that life is happening to them, and because of this, they get weighed down when something bad happens,” Tony says “Other people believe that life is happening for them and that each incident — good or bad — is shaping them into the person they’re meant to become. Which one would you rather be? If it’s the latter, it’s time to change your mindset.” Written by David Meerman Scotton January 9th, 2019
I highly recommend “You are a Badass” by Jen Sincero from my audiobook collection playlist for the above topic – however, there are 70+ other books to pick to explore and enjoy totally free!
It is the resistance to change that makes us suffer.
Stay blessed, Stay put, in love, for love, with love & Sparkles for your amazingness!!
Seatback, relax and enjoy this eye-opening Speech by Jim Carrey
How is money not the root of all evil? Only late in life did I realize that my opinion about money needed a fresh look and a new perspective if I were to change the ingrained life of scarcity mentality, I suggest you look into yours too. If my relationship with it did change; So can yours!
I wondered if the uproar of thoughts on money weren’t somewhat more of an internal conflict of my own than anything else. and maybe you could ask yourself the same question…
‘I was stagnated in the idea that to deserve financial abundance one had to work a lot and really very hard!” You do too?
While not totally wrong… moderation is prescribed! Well… wasn’t necessarily like that for me, certainly not at the time. Receiving, earning easy money was an unethical thing to do! We’re told ‘easy come, easy go’. This is how I resonated with it, and for sure money did not come easy to me, if I was attracting anything, it was billed for their education and all the same thing that any mother of 3 on her own would have to spend… money on, just as I was attracting hard and never stopping work, no such a thing as too hard work? I was yet to figure out my limits.
For decades, finances continued being on ups and downs, BUT I did not work any less, very much the opposite, regardless of how hard it became the harder I worked – to the point of exhaustion. After years of it, work, school, marriage (16 years) 3 children, divorce to becoming a single mum and only provider (and on and on…) something had to give, and sure did, physical burnout (chronic illness), mentally exhausted, racked emotionally – in one word? I drove myself to Depletion, (self-inflicted).
Although financially comfortable, getting by, enough for bills … I still relied on my mum’s help to get by, I was still not at all abundant! My struggle for the lack of it was real. Most definitely it was not for lack of commitment, perseverance, resilience… nor for lack of discipline nor hard work!! What then? research, courses, books, masterclasses you name it the truth is:
My limiting belief WAS the root of my lack of mentality!
Was I holding limiting beliefs about money? I sure did. Why? I still cannot give a straightforward answer. Spending money was stressful, came with fear, and terrified me it was linked to a feeling of guilt if not spent very wisely, or on just the ‘essential needs.
Here’s the thing: I grew up in poverty, just like many, and for various reasons, mine happens to be a civil war. We had the bare minimum of everything, food was a luxury and by food was a luxury, I mean any food!
I gratefully learned from an early age that we don’t need to have much, nor money in order to help others. As kids, we often saw the military trucks with dead, dying, or very badly hurt people, children, women, men, young or old – thrown in and piled like rubbish passing by towards the main hospital, as we lived nearby. On weekends, my mum would take us to the children’s ward, either to play and cheer them up or take goodies to help, anything she could get her hands on. While this taught me the joys of giving, sharing, and caring it also embedded the fear of scarcity for a lifetime.
I began working pretty young before I was even 15. Fast-forward, from being a secretary and an employee…to entrepreneurship, owning medium to small successful businesses and employers. I sure gained an immense fortune of life experience, invaluable lessons, do’s and don’ts. Hardship makes you stronger – I was a warrior so I was told, nevertheless, pain, grief, disappointments, and failures have been the best teachers albeit all that, I took no credit, I could not see the value in it, my focus was on what I did not have instead of on what I did have. Does a working mother alone ever have enough for her children? I do what I’ve got to do
I never stopped ‘Giving’ as it came naturally but receiving was as challenging as ever even though I no longer translate it to being or not a matter of deserving.
Why is then Money not the root of all evil? How about this…
Receiving anything is a Grace but Giving is Divine. It is rather the lack of kindness and generosity, selfishness and greed that in turn evil is born, not money. It is rather human ignorance, mental stagnation, and low emotional intelligence, that create evil, not money. Human beings do evil things, not money.
Stagnated water for example gets murky, rotten, and eventually stinks. So do we “figuratively” in the sense that limiting beliefs stagnate, corrupt, and result in the discord that humans experience amongst themselves? Followed by the need for power and control, on both personal and collective levels, money is after all just a currency of exchange. It is ‘us’ that misuse it due to our own greed instead of exchange as intended. Money does not have a mind of its own.
This is the simplest way, I can convey the idea that what we think, believe, project, and manifest, attract. I can say that manifesting something into your life, such as money, friendships, relationships, love, etc is as simple or complicated as you make it to be.
Let go of limiting beliefs
What we believe, we become. In order to believe we look for confirmations. When we go on looking for confirmation for anything at all, we find it! If we look for confirmation that we are ugly, fat stupid, or that we are beautiful, skinny, or intelligent trust me we find it all the time… just like when we focus on what we don’t have, instead of what we do have… as I did to some extent, projecting scarcity which brought more of it…We either create our misery or success. It depends on what we care to believe.
When we let go of stagnated old limiting beliefs the truth reveals itself”
and then the reason… why is Money not the root of all evil? need little to no further explanation…
It is all a matter of our conditioning through life that sediments and sets up all the preconceived ideas that we have. These are personal and individual overall perceptions, in other words, it is “how we each view, perceive or have been conditioned to” in short, the “limiting belief system we sustain”.
Cultivating and nurturing an idea and creating a good relationship, sets success in motion – conceiving visualizing, fertilizing, and projecting create manifestation – That is essentially the shift that I am talking about.
The act of giving for no reason at all beyond any whatsoever expectation is the whole point here folks. Generosity, gratitude, and appreciation are powerful forms of communication; the kind that transcends the intellect and feeds the soul – connection with our core essence – it is unconditional love that we need more of in the world.
As far as the receiving is concerned it is true for me that:
When we are open to receiving, we have more to give! The more we give… the more we get
You can always do better with someone else’s sanity, than with your own insanity
Don’t accept less than you deserve”
Everything we learn through our experience makes us wiser more discerning, and limitlessly more abundant.
Top 15 things Money can not buy
So what do you think? Is Money the root of all evil? YES? NO?
” Loneliness vs Solitude” came about, from asking my daughter what she thought is a pertinent topic, to which with no hesitation … she replied ‘Loneliness’. The isolation, quarantines, and lockdowns that we experienced as a collective, loneliness made itself felt to many of us. I truly wish you get to experience a shift into solitude and self-connection. Who knows some of us get to connect a few dots of our own? So I trust you’ll join those that get the insight that loneliness isn’t just what it appears to be, and so I share with you my views.
Here is the fabulous, astounding Michael Bernand Beckwith to set the mood !!
The more we relate to something, the easier It becomes to find the missing pieces
Loneliness has a lot of layers and depths, some very deeply rooted.
As we know… loneliness lives in every heart, we all experience it one way or another.
We feel alone for different reasons, we experience it differently too. At times not only can we relate to this we can sense it similarly too; Anguish, Torment does feel very, very real to us, myself included, however still is an illusion nonetheless.
“Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.” Albert Einstein
Folks, I’m definitely not saying that we are all delusional, ok? Suppose everything has two sides to it. Negative and Positive, but why is it that the negatives seem to be the default and the positive may or may not even come to light, especially when needed most?
We stress, curse ourselves, our personal dialogue leaves a lot to wish for. We don’t respect ourselves, look for assurance elsewhere but within and we totally disregard nurturing the genius inside of us.
♥ Feeling alone does not mean being alone ♥
Emotionally speaking, in Loneliness the mind talk is about sadness, hurt, pain again and again, in Solitude even though you are still alone, you don’t feel alone, you’re with yourself; silencing the mind ‘chatter’ is so much easier than you think. “Mind chatter” negative thoughts inhibit our life experience. Hinders inner- peace, and our sense of belonging.
We each experience spells of loneliness and seriously it isn’t a bad thing. Loneliness holds the potential to teach us something, it is thanks to those shadow moments in life, we awake and connect to our inner self.
We’re all navigating through life as best we know, so wake up, show up and turn your experience into something constructive. By spending time in your own presence you learn a great deal. Being content in your own skin, in your own company, is just the beginning.
When we plant the seed to harvest a relationship with Self, we reap what we sow isn’t it? A positive mind reaps more of the same so do negative ones.
When we connect, with who we truly are, authentically, with our thoughts and emotions, we get to know and understand ourselves and others on a different level and dept.
Our internal dialogue makes, breaks, or in the least stagnates us or not at all, what you tell yourself is a choice you make.
“You behold your truth”
It is when we can’t see anything good in and about ourselves, that we know for sure that it is urgent that we give it our full attention. No reason whatsoever can possibly justify you seeing nothing good about yourself – if you go on living looking for proof that you are not good enough, trust me you find it all over and the same is true for the opposite so create the habit to look for confirmations that lift you instead.
Every program can have its settings changed to a different default.
When yours is set to see negative, then that is what you see, of course. The opposite is true too, when your radar is set to positive you will begin to find more positives about yourself too. When we focus on a negative trait, we become self-conscious of it even if we weren’t before. What we tell ourselves often enough, we believe and so we become. The effort of this exercise is the same for either choice, why not then rather focus on what lifts, encourages and motivates us? The habit makes it effortless.
The good news is that you can flip to the opposite side of your coin, any time and every time. You sure can fill up your emotional bank account by changing only the bad habit of not giving a dime about yourself.
No more guilty. No more getting in your own way
Generally speaking, the opinion we create about ourselves for example, and the ‘limiting beliefs’ we nurture within… are the main reason & excuse paradigm we often use to justify bad habits. They are also the very same ones that stagnate and limit us. Yes, or no? For the good of all, I wish that more of us could understand this in some way. This is the mindset of Loneliness.
What does then the other side of Loneliness … looks like? As in for the purpose of shifting from Loneliness to Solitude?
From goodbye Loneliness to Helloo Solitude
My Name is Genious, Nice to meet ME!
I JUST MADE A NEW FRIEND TODAY – ME!
To re-build the relationship between me and my inner self from a clean slate, I forgive and let go of…(you add what you choose to let go or add for the basis in the new agreement with yourself) and assure you will be carefull with your new relationship to create and mainteain great vibes!
Who would want a relationship that is demeaning, offensive, or oppressive? Why would you want to be a friend of yourself on those terms right? why would anyone else want to be your friend? See? Those are the facets of loneliness, your new relationship is one of solitude.
The difference between the two is that in loneliness the mind ‘talks’ to the emotions loudly, seriously in all sorts of thoughts that lead to emotions that are the least desirable, but in Solitude, the mind is quiet, in this silence, you can listen to the Soul guiding you to joy.
From now, now now on you are kind to yourself just as you are to those you love… Treating yourself as you would your best friend, your soulmate is you.
I believe, appreciate and love Myself! – I am open, honest, authentic, generous, and speak from the heart to everyone but most importantly with me too. The universe is taking care of the rest.
Does solitude mean lonely?
Loneliness is marked by a sense of isolation. Solitude, on the other hand, is a state of being alone without being lonely and can lead to self-awareness.01 Jul 2003
...But now in the Solitude of my journey I set myself to explore the treasures of my sould – I gift I was unaware but I’d always had inside of me
Why do people crave solitude?
It helps them enjoy the simplicity of life.
In solitude, it’s easier to welcome simplicity, and with a simple life, solitude comes naturally. The simpler your life is, the less stress you’re likely to have. And simplicity breeds the opportunity to evaluate your personal values, which are crucial to living mindfully.12 Aug 2021
It is when we become the friend that possesses all the great qualities ourselves, the qualities we seek others see in us that we no longer feel alone. That’s one of many experiences of solitude. You are magnificent, you can spend time alone and feel we’ve had the best conversation ever, you can do the things you like to do by yourself because you know you are sufficient, and know that he best you can have by your side is you! Because YOU’RE the best! Be your bestie, be your buddy, be the best you can be with yourself at all times!
Have the Courage to Stand Alone (Find True Belonging) by Brené Brown this is what loneliness to solitude looks like
6 Principles for Befriending Yourself: Matt Licata, Jeff Foster
Excerpt: “Here is a principle that has the potential to change your life, if you really take it in: ” TRUE HEALING HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH GETTING RID OF “NEGATIVE” THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS. TRUE HEALING HAPPENS WHEN WE ACTUALLY STOP “TRYING” TO HEAL ALTOGETHER, LET GO OF “HEALING” AS A DESTINATION, AND SURRENDER TO THE PRESENT MOMENT OF LIFE, HOWEVER INTENSE OR UNCOMFORTABLE IT IS. THERE IS UNEXPECTED MEDICINE HIDDEN INSIDE THIS “ALCHEMICAL MIDDLE,” THE WISDOM OF YOUR OWN HEART, RELEASED WHEN YOU TURN BACK TOWARD YOURSELF IN A MOMENT WHEN YOU NEED YOURSELF MORE THAN EVER.”Jeff Foster, Matt Licatacontinue reading…
“It is love, of course, that guides the reorganization and its unfolding. But it is love, too, that is the substance of the ashes, and also the tears, the tears of grief and the tears of love. If the tears could speak, they may tell us that there is no medicine in a wound that is already healed, but only in one that is weeping.”Matt Licata PhD
Solitude is Desired, Loneliness is Unwanted. The links below couldn’t be better written and may enlighten those that care to understand, wish to find or get in touch again and spark or start a relationship with themselves.
Is solitude a good or bad thing?
” Solitude is an essential component of your health and well-being. … In fact, building more solitude into your daily life might actually reduce feelings of loneliness. Solitary skills take practice if you’re not used to being alone, but over time, you can grow more comfortable with being by yourself.
Give yourself time every day for self-reflection, see how craving to be left alone (solitude), is not the same as feeling unwanted loneliness).
Why do we Do you take it all always too personally? This Story of Anger is a brilliant illustration of what goes on, in our life with reference to our emotions.
Ancient Philosopher Chuang Tzu says that if we are crossing a river, and an empty boat comes towards us, we will not get angry. We will gently guide the boat away. However, if we think there is someone in the boat, we will likely scream and yell at the person to steer clear.
Our Anger arises because we think someone is in the boat.
The goal he suggests is to empty our boat, empty our notions of self and others. The tendency is of course to prove that we are better than those who we oppose. Be a better separate self –
Is the Story always that personal?
I believe that more often than not, we do take things too personally, we take words too personal, work too personal, and on it goes, ´he says she says´ story if it is not what you say, it is how you say it. Misinterpretations turn into actions that become a by-product of anger, a fire that burns, that inflicts hurt, pain, and distress. Is it not time we may at least try to not take ´everything´ so personally? so seriously? or as an attack that robs the smile off our faces on a daily basis? Can a simple comment, thought, word, message, picture, and expression have in itself the power that causes such distress? the answer is yes, we all have experienced anger in one way or another… how is it possible to change, if anger is someone else´s fault? Is this your story?
What´s my Story
I´ve been just as guilty along the way, the only time we can change the future outcome… is NOW, that is pretty much my story resumed. Only I am responsible for my happiness, my happiness is my responsibility and no one else’s, my peace of mind, body health, and spiritual contentment are mine to take care of, and nurture, and only I am in charge. Blaming someone else is like inflicting more of the exact same thing over and over again and expecting different results. I choose to allow myself to re-write my story every time something changes, is this your story too?
I have made mistakes along my journey, many actually, I have and still do miss some opportunities life brings my way to create a better story and so, when that is the case, I re-write my story! the change is not so much about the content of what I say in my story… Or the events (those I cannot control) but more so because of how we say it. How we each describe it. How we each portray it. Do I honor myself? Is my story as authentic as I tell it, and in which way does my story make a difference by sharing it with someone else? When and why is my story worthwhile telling others?
All Stories, memories ´good´ and ´bad´, are meaningful
From the hardest trials, we learn the most valuable lessons, it is here that we evolve the most, and also when sharing is then worthwhile. Good stories shared tend to be celebrations, of joy, it elevates you, brings laughter, a collective communion, yet both or either one add a glimpse of hope, that makes a difference in someone´s life. It is then that we know that we are not merely regurgitating stories for the sake of it, but rather for and with a purpose. Sharing is a reminder that one way or another, we all leave footprints.
Anger rises because we think someone is on the boat
When all is taken too personal, the story is always and mostly one of a VICTIM. It is true, I agree 100%, and I validate that we are witnesses of the cruelty and survivors of the most horrifying crimes, but holding on to it, serves no purpose. Repeating our story over and over for pity, like a broken record, offers nothing, means nothing, it is full and yet so empty, so charged and yet so flat, perpetuates the pain instead of being liberating, it gives away your power instead of being itself powerful. We become invisible, boring to others, alone! We stay Angry and always right, what is the value in it, how can we possibly capitalize on contentment, freedom, or anything good for that matter, that way?
The good news is that choice is the key to change. Rewriting our story is a privilege that every single one of us is granted. That is right! it is a matter of choice. The story you tell others about yourself is meant to be told in a way that elevates you and others. Whereas demeaning stories will affect not only your dignity and self-respect but further sink you into the depth of darkness.
We are all in the boat called Story of life
Regardless of how small, how tiny, or minuscule an achievement was/is, every single experience has the potential to carry a powerful message, the potential to make a difference. Can we agree that it is then part of our personal “growth” and worth the limelight rather than focus our efforts in trying to prove that we are better than those who we oppose when we “take” everyone and everything personally? Growth at a personal level adds meaning to life, while taking everything personally, takes away the meaning.
Does It Matter, Why?
Yes, it does, I individually choose to change my story because, the story I tell not only is beneficial for my mind, body, and spiritual well-being as it is also meant to inspire others, the collective well-being because we all have been or are going through similar experiences and need a friendly word just like you are here reading this story. I hope that if it does not put a smile on your face, it at least makes some sense.
So, What´s your Story
Let your story represent who you are today!! Be loyal, authentic, caring, and gentle with yourself. I remind each one of us, myself included that we´re the Ambassadors of our legacy. The footprints that we leave during our journey in this lifetime, one way or another have and or will touch, impact directly or indirectly those going through similar experiences as ours, like mine. Make it worthwhile.
So, don´t take life so seriously, have some fun and enjoy the process and take things less and less personally.
The choice to change is the precise key and the same tool you, me and everyone have, to re-write our stories and make a difference.
Your choice of Story
When you are crossing the river of life, remember to empty your boat. You don´t become what others think of you, just as no one became what you thought of them.
Judgment only subtracts from your experience. “You cannot pour milk out of a jar, without ´there being ‘milk in the jar in the first place”; just as we can not pour anger at someone if there was no anger inside us in the first place!
No one triggers or presses the wrong button… choose to change your story instead.
The best version of your story is the best version of you. Let yourself shine, you don´t need to deserve to shine, you shine because we are energy, the matter is how bright you´re shining, here and now. The choice is entirely yours. We´re diamonds, all of us, it is just a matter of polishing each of its facets one at a time, my friend, you are allowed to do, without permission.
Be your own kind of beautiful! Be the best version you can be.
Love that speaks the language of the world is the one and the only energy that activates our intelligence, our creativity, purifies and liberates us – Paulo Coelho
The link connecting BodyMindSpirit is Love, this energy connected, flowing, and in balance creates bliss. It is up to us to regularly maintain and nurture. When we don’t, we stagnate, disconnect, and lack balance in all 3 levels, which are physical, mental, and emotional.
One for all and all for one.
Connected, flowing, and in balance, they support one another.
Love that speaks the language of the world is the only one that has the power to transform & change us in miraculous ways
The world needs examples of people capable of living out their dreams and fighting for their ideas – The Valkyries
Years of researching, witnessing personal and humanity’s evolution, collective awareness, and expansion on the subject of the mind-body-spirit connection have been a humbling experience, to say the least.
Considering the number of “seekers” like you and me, all the more it shows that we know that there is more to it, but continue the emotional, mental, and physical uphills & downhills, in short- suffering;
Observing day-to-day pains, stresses Mental, Emotional, and physical from simple ailments to chronic illnesses of all sorts, sure is a brutal reality, isn’t it? Anger, Fear and Anxiety are just a ripple in the vast ocean of factors contributing to chronic illnesses, cancer, and so on.
We are certainly not delusional for believing that our thoughts not only also create emotional and physically distraught.
When “emotionally bankrupted, we are unable to function or make normal daily decisions without feeling depleted at most levels”.
Dis-ease is a “lack of ease or comfort“ and is defined in the dictionary as a “disorder of structure or function in a human. Especially one that produces specific symptoms or that affects a specific location and is not simply a direct result of physical injury.
Mental issues can trigger Emotional dis-ease and vice-versa. How about these affecting us physically? See where I am going? Meanwhile, do we act as if we see it from such a perspective?
Why is it that even knowing that there is more than the eye can see, and we are right there is indeed-we still succumb to the devastation that our life can turn into?
Energy centers or Chakra translated to “wheel” in Sanskrit, can be imagined as wheels or flowers of free-flowing positive energy. Therefore unblocking, opening and cleansing our energy centers is a subject that matters to mention for a better understanding. When they are open (chakras), they work as a channel for the Love energy to run through it freely, which in turn harmonizes not only physical body, mind, and spirit.
I don’t think it’s exaggerated to say that most of us experienced this imbalance, stagnation, or disconnection at some point from time to time or a few times, this experience is different for everyone.
Like me, many know that the body is our vessel. Mind, Emotions, and all that it entails reside in this magnificent, splendid, amazing body that we each have.
How is it working and serving you?
Mentally and emotionally Cleared and cleansed from blockages?
Energised and exuding Physical well-being?
Is it your truthful reflection?
However good or not is what we make of it. Further, taking ownership and care of our vessel is our job, no one else can do it on our behalf. Just like no one can stop eating for another to lose weight no one can take care of your body for you.
Firstly broken vessels exist, secondly, we all improve and heal over time. After that if or when we don’t even try? Loathing, lack of discipline, and commitment to the self is a self-inflicted failure.
Our Mind is the Engine that runs the
Love that speaks the language of the world
The voice of the mind is an engine with all-time access to the vessel or body and heart or emotions that have the power and often does overpower, neglect, and disregard everything and everyone to our own detriment.
Our common sense always knows better, similarly many of us often silence it, neglect it, or both to create the illusion of safety, being in control which could not be further from the truth.
We each hold the key to the freedom that we seek
Common practices that make no Common sense
Self-preservation: as the mind calls it, does not justify physical aggression, grudges, revenge, disrespect, or verbal abuse of any sort that inflicts hurt and pain onto others, it just doesn’t because nothing can justify such.
Justifying two wrongs does make a right! However, we use it against ourselves and each other.
We know that the “mind” is capable of produce, what corrupts us.
Giving wings to our imagination, spacing out, can be therapeutic at times, it can also trap us up indefinitely, with a tremendous negative impact and consequences, on our emotional and physical wellbeing.
Last but not least we create and subject ourselves to our own cruelty. When we let the mind take no responsibility and ownership, we starve the vessel and damage our steering wheel. This merry-go-round succumbs us to physical illness, emotional disorders and so forth.
It is up to each of us to courageously break free from the toxicity we create for ourselves be it physical, mental, or emotional.
“If you think you are good, or you think you are bad, you are!“
Making mistakes is human, we are here to learn however the role of taking responsibility goes without need to mention and so
“mislead or misguided minds can be healed just the way broken bones and broken hearts are healed,” as says Elder Jeffrey R. Holland
Feelings should always be free. We should never judge love by what we have suffered in the past
Re-evaluating our belief system every so often should be part of our emotional hygiene, to avoid irreversible damage. Our Beliefs can constrict us further into the prison that we confine our beings into, hence sabotaging our engine and vessel.
The brain registers the emotional pain of heartbreak in the same way as physical pain. Studies show that’s why we might feel like our emotional pain is causing actual physical hurt…
“I feel like my heart’s been ripped out”,
“it was gut-wrenching”,
“like a slap in the face”
– all hint at the way we associate physical pain with emotional pain. Excerpt from the science behind a broken heart
To deal with tragic and traumatic events we dissociate. This is a protection and safety mechanism at our disposal as early as childhood, that serves us, as a coping mechanism. When some or most of these issues are then never dealt with, they become toxic, subsequently affecting our lives as they morphe our overall wellbeing.
In short, we’re all seeking a little of the same here, learn to speak & communicate through the universal language, Love.
To sum up, we’re as connected and capable of love as any other human being. How did you learn? You didn’t, you simply believe. You believe, therefore you love The Witch of Portobello book by Paulo Coelho
Stay blessed, Stay put, in love, for love, with love & Sparkles for your amazingness!!
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