“Loneliness to Solitude” came about from asking my daughter what she thought would be currently a pertinent topic for the next post, with no hesitation … she replied loneliness. Due to the isolation, quarantines, lockdowns that we are experiencing globally, it sure became relevant more so now, than ever and so it is.
For those who need this brought to light, I wish it leads you to experience the shift into solitude and self-connection. Who knows some of us get to connect a few dots of our own?
The more we relate to something, the easier It becomes to find the missing pieces for our life’s ‘puzzle’. You can also join those that get the insight that loneliness isn’t just what it appears to be. It’s a blessing in disguise! and so, I thought I should give it a try and write about it.
Loneliness has a lot of layers and depths, some very deeply rooted. As we know… loneliness lives in every heart, we all experience it one way or another.
Loneliness to solitude?
How to go from one to the other
We feel alone for different reasons, we experience it differently too. At times not only can we relate to this we can sense it similarly too;
Anguish, Torment does feel very, very real for us, myself included, however still is an illusion nonetheless.
Albert Einstein says, “Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.” Folks, I’m definitely not saying that we are all delusional, ok?
Suppose everything has two sides to it. Negative and Positive, but why is it that the negatives seem to be the default and the positive may or may not even come to light especially when needed the most?
We stress, curse ourselves, and our personal dialogue leaves a lot to wish for. We don’t respect ourselves instead we look for assurance elsewhere and we totally miss the opportunity to be kind and grateful to the self.
From a mindset in loneliness to a solitude mind setting
Feeling alone does not mean being alone, we all experience spells and it is not a bad thing. Loneliness holds the potential to teach us something, it is thanks to those shadow moments in life that we awake and often connect to our inner self.
We’re all navigating through life as best we know, so wake up, show up and turn your experience into something constructive.
Learn to be content in your own skin, in your own company, enjoy your own presence, apologize, accept and forgive yourself and others – practice gratitude. Plant the seed to harvest a relationship with the “Self”, after all, we reap what we sow isn’t it? A positive mind reaps more of the same so do negative ones.
Make these promises to yourself:
- Never break the promise to nurture and love the person that you’re
- Don’t let yourself down, pay particular attention here, accepting yourself is regaining your power, our internal dialogue makes, breaks, or in the least stagnates us.
- It is when we have a healthy relationship with ourselves that we understand that we have weaknesses too, who doesn’t?
- We have negative facets just as we have many positive ones.
- Be mentally and emotionally faithful with yourself always so that you never forget who you truly are.
It is when we can’t see anything good in and about ourselves, that we know for sure that it is urgent that we give it our full attention. No reason whatsoever can possibly justify you seeing nothing good about yourself – none!
All programs can have their settings changed to a different default. When yours is set to see negative only, then that is all you will see, of course.
Generally speaking, the opinion we create about ourselves, and the ‘limiting beliefs’ we nurture within… are the main reason & excuse paradigm we often use to justify this bad habit. They are also the very same ones that stagnate and limit us. Yes, or no? For the good of all, I wish that more of us could understand this in some way. This is the mindset of Loneliness.
What does then the other side of Loneliness … looks like? As in for the purpose of shifting from Loneliness to Solitude?
From goodbye loneliness to solitude Helloo!
We gain a new friend, we let go of a bad relationship between us and our inner self. Who would want a relationship that is demeaning, offensive, oppressive? Why would you want to be a friend of yourself on those terms right? why would anyone else want to be your friend? See? That is what loneliness looks like that.
We are all guilty of this at times. We get in our own way; we are kinder to others before we are with ourselves… Treat yourself as you would your best friend, your soulmate is you.
The good news is that you can flip to the opposite side of your coin, any time and every time. You sure can fill up your emotional bank account by changing only the bad habit of not giving a dime about yourself.
Choose to believe, appreciate and love you! – Be open, honest, authentic, generous, and speak from the heart to everyone but most importantly with you too. Then, let the universe take care of the rest.
Become yourself the friend that possesses all the great qualities, the qualities you seek in others and you will never feel alone another day. That’s one of many experiences of solitude. You are magnificent, you can spend time alone and feel you’ve had the best conversation ever, you can do the things you like to do by yourself because you know you are sufficient and know that best you can have by your side is you! Be your bestie, be your buddy be the best you can be with yourself!
Have the Courage to Stand Alone (Find True Belonging) by Brené Brown this is what loneliness to solitude looks like
6 Principles for Befriending Yourself: Matt Licata, Jeff Foster
Excerpt: “Here is a principle that has the potential to change your life, if you really take it in: ” TRUE HEALING HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH GETTING RID OF “NEGATIVE” THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS. TRUE HEALING HAPPENS WHEN WE ACTUALLY STOP “TRYING” TO HEAL ALTOGETHER, LET GO OF “HEALING” AS A DESTINATION, AND SURRENDER TO THE PRESENT MOMENT OF LIFE, HOWEVER INTENSE OR UNCOMFORTABLE IT IS. THERE IS UNEXPECTED MEDICINE HIDDEN INSIDE THIS “ALCHEMICAL MIDDLE,” THE WISDOM OF YOUR OWN HEART, RELEASED WHEN YOU TURN BACK TOWARD YOURSELF IN A MOMENT WHEN YOU NEED YOURSELF MORE THAN EVER.” Jeff Foster, Matt Licata continue reading…
“It is love, of course, that guides the reorganization and its unfolding. But it is love, too, that is the substance of the ashes, and also the tears, the tears of grief and the tears of love. If the tears could speak, they may tell us that there is no medicine in a wound that is already healed, but only in one that is weeping.” Matt Licata PhD
Solitude is joy while loneliness is the pain of being alone. While Solitude can be Desired, Loneliness is Unwanted. The links below couldn’t be better written and may enlighten those that care to understand, wish to find or get in touch again and spark or start a relationship with themselves.
Is solitude a good or bad thing?
” Solitude is an essential component of your health and well-being. … In fact, building more solitude into your daily life might actually reduce feelings of loneliness. Solitary skills take practice if you’re not used to being alone, but over time, you can grow more comfortable with being by yourself.
Emotionally speaking, in Loneliness the mind talk is about sadness, hurt, pain again and again, in Solitude even though you are still alone, you don’t feel alone, you’re with yourself; silencing the mind ‘chatter’ is so much easier than you think. “Mind chatter” negative thoughts inhibit our life experience. Hinders inner- peace, and our sense of belonging.
Give yourself time every day for self-reflection, see how craving to be left alone (solitude), is not the same as feeling unwanted loneliness).
The difference between the two is that in loneliness the mind ‘talks’ to the emotions loudly, seriously in all sorts of thoughts that lead to emotions that are the least desirable, but in Solitude, the mind is quiet, in this silence, you can listen to the Soul guiding you to joy.
Stay blessed, Stay put, in love, for love, with love & Sparkles for your amazingness!!
For more on Spiritual Bazar- Solitude Playlist click here includes Tony Robbins and Michael A Singer | Breaking Patterns and Finding Inner Peace
Seatback, chill and Experience your Good Now by Louise Hay