The blessings of Letting Go?

Posted on June 29, 2021 by Tânia Barroso

The blessings of Letting Go?

The blessings of Letting Go? to find and leave in peace, freedom from what no longer serves you is like none other. Some people have to be loved at a distance, others do not at all because they don’t deserve to be in your heart or in your life at all. The example being used is about a relationship between a narcissistic father and a daughter.

This applies to any other situation of a kind, relationship, or interaction for this matter.

WHEN disconnecting and distancing is really all we can do.

♥ Letting go is a blessing when it’s because you’re worthy ♥

A 19-year-old girl writes a letter to her narcissist dad describing her 10-year journey better than I could ever convey it.

The letter below is just one in a million examples of what letting go in this context feels like. I hope it makes a difference for her and all those that come to read it.

“Dad”

I’ve been wanting to speak to you, and I’ve been putting it off because it never felt like the right time. However, I’ve realized that the time will never feel right. It’s a sensitive and somewhat uncomfortable conversation. I’m not responsible for how you interpret this, but I want you to know that I don’t want to fight or argue…I’ve been feeling very heavy-hearted when it comes to this. If I sound confrontational… By all means, I’m not trying to attack… blame anyone so be open-minded while reading this, and try to see things from my side, just this once…

I know being sensitive isn’t your forte but I feel like I’ve always been on the short end of the stick. Always feeling sad, always hurting but it feels unfair to continue letting myself feel this way without trying to talk to you

I don’t know … but every time I think of my dad, I think of someone unapproachable

I’m not sure about you but I don’t think feeling that way is a good thing. I can’t explain it but it has been like this since the divorce. I have always felt that my dad, didn’t care.

He didn’t care enough to provide continuity. It wasn’t his job as a father. It was up to him when and how much he contributed. Nothing was unconditional…

I got through my teenage years just accepting it. I made sure I kept myself as busy as possible to ensure I never had the time to give it any thought.

My job during school was to get good grades and excel. The financial stuff was between mom and dad and had nothing to do with us kids. On the contrary, it had and still has everything to do with us. It was no secret that mom paid for the food we ate, the house we lived in, the clothes we wore, the school we went to, and not once did we ever go without anything we needed. And she would do it without us even asking her to. Unconditional.

But dad… with you it was different…

With you, we always had to ask. And more often than not I would ask with my tail between my legs, I felt as if I was always asking and expecting way too much from you. It’s always been much more than paying for my school tournaments, flights to you and back, or paying for medical aid. Don’t get me wrong. I am beyond grateful that you did allow me to play and be part of the team, but it isn’t about the money.

All I have ever felt is that it’s only about the money for you, and the exact figure to a cent with you. Nothing felt unconditional.

…saddest part of it all is that I can’t say I’ve ever felt love from you. And as much as it might hurt or be a slap in the face to hear this, it’s the hard truth and I’ve let these feelings bottle up for ten years now.

I have been feeling this hurt for literally almost 10 years to the dot.

There’s no rulebook to marriage or parenthood. And I ask this in the nicest way possible, would you be happy if your “little girl”, your blood, someone who you hopefully do care for, were to marry someone like you and go through a divorce as messy as yours and moms were?

It hurts Dad, it really, really breaks me because I pray I never get treated the way mom did, and I pray that I don’t marry someone who will leave me to support my children and make my kids feel the hurt I have felt every day of my life for 10 long years.

The thought of committing to something as big as children terrifies me. Because no child should ever have to feel the way I did growing up. And how will I ever know? How will I ever know what the man I marry one day will be capable of?

In December I visited because I thought I should go visit my family, I wanted to believe that you’ve changed. And as much as you have in some ways, there’s no avoiding the fact that you’ve never prioritized your kids as much as I’ve seen other fathers doing. It’s way too late to change my childhood. It’s gone forever. But it’s time for me to deal with my childhood trauma. And this is the only way I can think of. Making myself extremely vulnerable and approaching you.

Vulnerability – the quality or state of being exposed to the possibility of being attacked or harmed, either physically or emotionally. That’s exactly what I’m doing. I’m laying all my cards on the table. I’m tired of pretending that your actions haven’t hurt me. I’m tired of acting tough.

It’s not uncommon for kids to have issues with parents, especially nowadays. I have many friends who have similar problems. But when they admit that my situation is a lot worse. I can’t even begin to describe the pain I feel.

For the longest time, I was angry. I was so mad that I didn’t have a father who provided unconditionally. But anger wasn’t going to solve anything, being mad at you wasn’t going to change your ways. I’ve accepted that nothing will ever be able to change.

It’s too late to fix how I feel, it’s been engraved. But it might not be too late for my sibling. I think it’s often easy to not think of how our actions affect those around us. But when you’re constantly shouting or constantly angry, do you think any of us feel we can approach you? There is no doubt that my brother needs a fatherly figure in his life, and yet he has been the one that has visited you the most. Half of the time I’ve questioned, why in the world would anyone keep going back to a place where they get beaten down for not knowing certain things or for doing things wrong? the only explanation I can come up with is that he needs his dad. He’s no longer a child, he is a young man who needs his dad to guide him. Only four more years and he will no longer be a teenager and money will no longer be able to buy his calls or to buy his love.

Sincerely your daughter who hopes to one day, have a better relationship”.

Don’t forget it’s always about them!

The narcissist father-child relationship is painful and devastating,

many can relate to Emotional as well as Verbal abuse.

Let them Go because you are better off without the permanent reminder of how useless, worthless, valueless, and stupid they want you to believe you are. The fact is it is their problem, not yours

That is just who they are, their world, this won’t ever change… They know no better, but you do!

” IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT period, none of it is!
Not from the beginning,
Not now…It was never you, not now, or ever…
Because it was, is, and always will be only about them

” From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia: A narcissistic parent is a parent affected by narcissism or narcissistic personality disorder. Typically, narcissistic are possessively close to their children and are threatened by their children’s growing independence… with the parent considering that the child exists solely to fulfill the parent’s needs and wishes. Narcissistic parents will often try to control their children with threats and emotional abuse.

Narcissistic parenting adversely affects:

Psychological development of children, their reasoning, emotional, ethical, and societal behaviors and attitudes.
Personal boundaries are often disregarded with the goal of molding and manipulating the child to satisfy their expectations”
Narcissistic parents are self-absorbed, inflexible, and lack the empathy necessary for child-raising.

Get it now? Not your fault!

This is about releasing the emotional abuse you have been through. Whatever the experience is for you, all that matters is that you are a divine being, a rough diamond needing some polishing & healing, but a diamond nonetheless.

Stay blessed, Stay put, in love, for love, with love & Sparkles for your amazingness!!

Me, me, me! How narcissism changes throughout life

Spiritual Bazar Playlists:

Letting Go Series

Self Transformation

Healing the Inner child

Narcissists what to know

Home to explore more articles about healing

Is Giving a Blessing in disguise?

Posted on June 24, 2021 by Tânia Barroso

Is Giving a Blessing in disguise?

When is Giving a Blessing in disguise? Everyone has something to give! I am always changing a song for you if you’d like to read while listening to it. Enjoy 😉

Every one of us has life challenges, and experiences of some sort. We all have a lot to share that can help others, yet we hold back because we think that if our own life isn’t perfect, what would we have to share? Yet it is because our life is not perfect that we have so much to share. Have you ever stopped a minute or two to just think about that?

Isn’t life essentially a journey of growth and development, that each of us embarks on? Different paths lead to different outcomes. There are, of course, similarities that individual journeys share with one another; Everyone’s Life is a journey, an evolution, and a remembrance of some sort, it just is.

There are people out there looking for exactly what we have to offer. We CAN help an individual not because we have money or possessions we can help because we don’t have to be perfect for our light to shine bright! Nobody has it completely perfect. Even the people you think do, don’t. Your gifts are needed! Everyone has something to offer, everyone.

Why Is Giving a Blessing and a gift?

There is no such as a perfectly perfect life, there are perfect imperfections, as I like to call them. That is precisely the most valuable of all gifts. Your heart is blessed when you’re humble, vulnerable, and share your experiences. Everyone has an encouraging story with the potential to lift and motivate someone else that is going through a similar storm that we’ve been through, at some point in our life.

Without darkness, there’s no light, when we strive for anything better without an option, we escape misery, then truth keeps us moving through and investing ourselves to expand, grow and evolve, regardless of how much we have accomplished in life. The experience we accumulate through challenges and ordeals is proof that we learn to navigate storms because we have had to sail, it is what we learn in the process from darkness to light that is the essence of such a gift. That is the gift.

When Is Giving a Blessing?

When we “Hold the hands of those that are just a few steps behind you, up to your level and vibration and as you keep ascending, keep pulling them up along with you” (Simone Hodgin), this is the gift that we of course have, and can always be shared to elevate, lighten others. When we open the channel and vibrate the energy of our heart in turn the universe attracts the beautiful souls that are looking for what we have… can, and want to give or share. The universe leads them to find us. I promise you; it sure does, and it is then how the giver receives too ten times fold Hence the blessing Is mutual for both the giver and the receiver

The author of the Book ‘Brave’ Livia Terra does that, if you would like to see the first pages check the Amazon link, the best $5 dollars anyone could ever spend, it’s also a gift literally.

Why I am talking about this…

(Blessing in disguise)

It took me long enough time to realize that it is from the hardest, hurtful soul-ripping, and tearing experiences at times that we inevitably, unequivocally gain the most valuable of all ‘Gifts’. It is when we can look at all the changes that happened to us from different lenses and perspectives that we discover our blessings!

It is never ‘for’ self-detriment or ‘in’ self- detriment that we have to go through such, nor as with a purpose of destruction of any kind. Pain and hurt are our Masters, choose to see them differently. Be certain that it is always and certainly for our growth, there is wisdom in every difficult experience to help us connect the dots. We either see it this way or we don’t, but we can at any time make the choice to do so.

When we choose to see challenging adversities this way, we are automatically equipped to change patterns and directions, and transform spiritually and emotionally. This way we have the potential to live a peaceful loving and content life. As weird as it sounds trust me, all the bad has a good value and brings a life-changing opportunity. However, none of it feels this way when we look at it through the lenses and perspective of a victim.

“You never know the divine plan. There is intelligence out there that is looking out for you even if it may not look like it at the time you are going through it. As long as you do your part in processing what is coming up, every bad day is a healing day”. Every hard situation is a healing situation… Trust! ” Livia Terra author of the book “Brave“

Here is another excerpt from Dr. Sue Mortar’s e-book…

“Hey, whatever is going on in my world, it’s in my favor and it’s here to show me how “big” I truly am…

If I lose a job, maybe it’s because that job was never going to allow me to express my fullness as
a Soulful Self here in this life the way that I’m intended to.
If I lose a relationship or it appears that I’m losing something, it is because of the energetics of that
dynamic is no longer serving me.
If something is rejecting me, it is because the universe is intervening and saying, ‘No thank you.
That’s not your path.

You can start to claim this disposition of recognizing that every single thing that occurs in your life is in support of you. It is a change in your perspective that will change every single aspect of your day, your year, your decade, and your entire lifetime.”
When we are grateful for the tough and the worst lessons we’ve lived through in our personal life and experience;
When we believe that it happens the way it does for our highest good, we can then keep showing up and shining our light!
What changes? everything!
We see, feel, think and live life differently from that point – this is why I am talking about this, to experience contentment, happiness, love and so on, this is certainly a guaranteed way to start. This way of thinking has turned my life around, just as Dr Sue and Livia Terra ‘say’.

From my heart to yours, what have you got to lose by experimenting with life for a while with this mind?

I know what it did for me, I have and still practice this every day. Thinking this way helps me every time again and again.

Below I will add the links that will take you to Brave Livia Terra’s book and Dr. Sue’s download page, I wish I had read it, or that I knew just that much… much earlier in my life. Lol, don’t we all?

Why does making a difference – matter?

(Giving is itself what makes the difference)

Why does making a difference, sharing, or giving matter? is so important? Many believe and I certainly do too because I’ve experienced that receiving is great! BUT Giving is Divine.

It is not ‘what’ we give per see that matters it is the “intention we hold” rather… and vibrate “that is the difference between being in giving mode, expecting mode, or receiving mode!

When we live to make a difference, we co-habit in that space of the heart that’s tuned to truth and the most authentic and pure frequency of acceptance and surrender. The frequency of Love is the most powerful vibration.

Divine is the one that gives unconditionally

(expect nothing in return)

When a gift is sincere, from the heart the effect is amplified and vibrates within us way before it reaches the recipient. That is the effect that the connections between sharing/giving ~ receiving/sharing have, in the way that makes giving really magical to our inner-self, the inward and within ourselves miracle that manifests when it is then offered to another outwardly, free of attachments, unconditional. Just as we would describe unconditional Love.

If you think you have nothing to give because all you have received was shit, then now is the perfect time for a change of mind, a change of heart – because it is now that you *get to know better* the time to understand and experience it.

Love is the most powerful Vibration

The value of giving unconditionally is in the experience we provide to everyone that comes our way, be it for a reason, a season, or for a lifetime.

Sometimes we attract directly or indirectly those that need our gift or at times they come into our path through a crossroad, coincidences, or synchronicities somehow. Other times people merely bump into us and just a smile makes the difference; Such a word someone needed to hear; A chair we vacate to offer a cripple or anyone, simply just because they need more than we do, like helping an elderly cross the street for example.

The gifts that matter most are those that make the biggest difference and we never knew they would;

It is why they are divine, the simplistic gestures may well be a matter of life and death, and they may look and sound ordinary, mundane yet the source of a beautiful exchange nonetheless.

It is key to acknowledge that what happens to us, has a bigger purpose, even if we do not understand it at first, receive it, it is the kinda gift that passes on the human legacy and experience, this is when giving and receiving, happen at once, simultaneously.

“If you can turn any bad situation into a healing session, you grow exponentially”

by Livia Terra (source: book “Brave”)

———————–♥———————-

In order to make it happen, in order for it to happen, practice gratitude, humbleness, generosity, kindness, and vulnerability like you would a sport, yoga, or meditation. It is safe.

The expectation of getting something in return is a dead end.

———————-♥————————-

I am talking about the energetic field your heart taps into and the act of giving and receiving are one and the same hence the gift itself is both for the giver, and receiver, pure, raises our vibration which in turn floods the heart with tingling sensations, the popular say feeling butterflies in your belly.

It is from that space in my heart that I am here sharing with you this gift.

” I will always have one foot in gratitude, and I will always have the other foot stepping into desire- Always”

by Simone Hodgins.

I wish nothing less for you, I do want just this for you too because my purpose is to hold every hand I can, and wish that every hand I hold goes onto holding more hands themselves. It is a gift we can share with one another, and as we keep ascending, more get to experience the gift of inspiration and liberation! I invite you to deposit love into your emotional bank account so there is more to give one another.

Like Simone says keep one foot in gratitude and the other in your desire, for as long as we desire to share the heart’s message, we too shall live in gratitude.

As promised:

Book Brave by Livia Terra: If you want to check it out or purchase it, click here (I absolutely loved reading this book – Magnificent! for $ five dollars? It is a GIFT!! far more valuable than 5 dollars, that is a fact.

Then subscribe to download Dr. Sue Mortar’s free ebook The Top 3 Mistakes That Keep You from Fulfilment & Flow. (Available for free for a limited time.) Note that at the bottom of the same page, you can also reserve your seat absolutely free for her upcoming 90-Minute Online Webinar about the 3 Secrets to Syncing Up Your Super Powers: How to experience the happiness, vibrant health, love, the fulfillment you deserve in 2021 also by Dr. Sue Mortar I enjoyed it and I have a feeling, you will too.

Stay blessed, Stay put, in love, for love, with love & Sparkles for your amazingness!!

Letting go

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